Welcome to my happily ever after...
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lonely
I've felt something odd the last few days, and seeing that I'm rather new to this emotions thing, I always have a hard time pinpointing exactly what it is I'm feeling. Tonight I realized that I've been lonely.
Let me explain: I spent so many years drinking to cover up any emotions that I had, so these days emotions are a very new thing. I still get some of the emotions confused sometime. For example, hurt and anger feel very similar to me, and sometimes I have ask myself which one I'm feeling at a particular time.
So when I realized that I was lonely, I'm surprised that I didn't see the signs before now.
What would make me feel "un"-lonely? I'm not really sure. I know that I don't need or want a boyfriend right now, so that's not it. I'm surrounded by people all day long at work, and I sometimes wish I could be left alone while at work. Is it possible to still feel lonely even when surrounded by a room full of people?
Changing the subject, I just started re-reading one of my all time favorite books: Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler. Much like the main character in the story, I've always fantasized of starting a new life in a new town, taking only the clothes on my back with me.
9:59 p.m. - 2007-03-27
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