Welcome to my happily ever after...
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detox city
I'm back at my apt after 2 days in exile, and it is still just as heart wrenching to walk in that front door as it was a week ago. I listened to a Nickel Creek CD that he left in my car when we went to the beach a few weeks ago, and I could barely drive for crying so hard. I think in a way doing things that I know will make myself sad will somehow help me overcome some of these sad feelings. Perhaps I feel like it is making me take my medicine in a way.
I just hope he's happy wherever he is now. Getting as far away from me as possible is a start. By leaving without any sort of closure the way he did, he is punishing me more than any other way possible. I am in my own private hell. It has made me come to realize that I have to somehow detach myself from the feelings of extreme guilt I am feeling right now, otherwise I will never be able to move on.
Yet again have I tried to rely on a man to save me from myself.
Changing the subject, detox is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
My friend Jamie is driving in from Katy tonight to take me to a movie and try to get my mind off things. I think we finally decided on some movie called Mirrors, however I told him that we could go see a double feature of Joe Dirt and Waterworld and I'd just be happy to just get out of the house.
I hope I'm somewhat fun to be around.
4:44 p.m. - 2008-08-23
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