Welcome to my happily ever after...
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make it happen
Monday already. I didn't really have a great weekend. Friday night I was surprised at how short Michael was with me because I was tired and wanted to go to bed at 10:00. Granted, it was a weekend, but I still got up at 5 AM that day and had to get up at 7 AM the next day to do volunteer work. When he snapped at me, I just got in bed and didn't say anything to him. I was sersly ticked off.
The next morning, I just acted like nothing had happened, and things seemed fairly kosher. I set off to volunteer and he went to his sister's house to hang out for the day, and later that night when he came over I asked him what the problem was the night before, and he said that he just didn't want to go to bed that early. I told him that just because I went to bed, he didn't have to go also. He was a crab the rest of the night. It seemed like everything I said or did got on his nerves.
Sunday was much of the same....at one point we were at lunch and I decided I was sick of being the one making all the conversation, so I just didn't say anything....we went close to 15 minutes without saying a word. Now I know what you are thinking...we don't have to talk all the time, but 15 minutes? That's what my folks do to each other, and I refuse to be in a situation like them. When we got back to his house, I told him that I was going home to rest for a while and that I would call him later. I could tell that surprised him, but I just wanted to get away from there as quickly as possible. I went home and napped for a couple of hours and then did what I said I would do: I called Michael when I got up. Turns out that he was at Home Depot close to my house, so I asked him to come over when he was done. I wanted to watch the Oscars, and I could tell that just about killed him. I was ready to just be alone by that point.
Boy have I ever rushed things with this one. Now I totally get Michael getting grouchy sometimes, and I can deal with that. Hell, Carlos was the Queen Grouch and Greg was the Princess. But Michael and I have really only known each other a little over a month, and as far as I'm concerned, he still should be on his best behavior. I've tried to slow things down in other relationships, and more often that not, it's like trying to stop a freight train on a dime....a crash is inevitable. I really care about Michael, and I hope that won't happen between us, but I simply can't put up with another mood-ster in my life like I have with so many of the others in the past....and if things don't work out, then I'll just have to get over it.
So I guess I am faced with the age old question.....should relationships just fall into place naturally or should they require some effort on my part (as I have been doing with a vengeance)? Also, does the question mark still go at the end of a question when an aside is placed in parentheses? On the former question, a wise sage named Mariah Carey once opined back in 1992 that I should "Make It Happen", but does that apply to relationships as well?
So tonight I am going home and catching up on DVRd shows and eating leftover ribs for dinner. It sounds wonderful.
3:35 p.m. - 2006-03-06
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