Welcome to my happily ever after...
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bittersweet
How did it get to be Monday morning already? I wish I had a bunch of exciting things to write about that I did this past weekend, however there simply weren't any. When I left work on Friday afternoon, I went to my folks house and then took my dad out to dinner for his birthday. We were back at the house by 7:00, and I promptly went to bed about the time we walked in the door and then slept until 8 AM Saturday morning. First thing I went and tanned and attempted to go work out afterwards, yet I just didn't feel like it. So I drove back to the house and packed up my stuff and went back to my apartment. Despite worrying that I might be tempted to do something I shouldn't if I was at my place, it felt good to be home again. I cleaned house and put away clean clothes for a while, and then around 5:00 I got a phone call from my broken heart guy saying he wanted to come by my place and show me his new car. I should have told him that I was busy, yet I told him to come right over. It was good to see him, yet I could tell that things were different between us....the spark, at least from his side, just wasn't there anymore. We sat there and chatted for about an hour, and I even offered to take him out to dinner if he was hungry, yet he told me that he wanted to get back home so he could go out clubbing with his friends. Also, at one point I got up to go pee, and when I came back his demeanor had changed....I could tell that he had done a bump of K when I was in the bathroom. I admit that my last New Year's Eve was spent high as a kite on K, but it never did enough for me to want to do it again (unlike crystal). I was really disappointed that he would do that in my presence, and perhaps that is what I needed to convince myself that he's just not the right one for me. It still hurts a bit, but it's a necessary loss I guess. When he left, I kissed him softly on the lips, and I could tell it was the last time I would ever kiss him. Bittersweet.
After that, I got online and saw that Greg, my ex was online, so I sent him a note apologizing for my behavior the last month or so. Granted, we had major issues, but I didn't even talk to him before Christmas. He just kept belittling me and telling me how horrible I was, and I knew I shouldn't do it but I finally got angry and told him off. To my utter, utter shock, he responded by telling me that he still loved me and always would no matter what I did. That melted my heart, and I ended up in a puddle of tears. We decided that we would try to meet and talk in person sometime on Sunday.
So I spent the rest of my Saturday downloading music off the net and watching Catwoman on DVD. I ended up in bed by 8:00 that evening. I've gone from being a complete party animal to being in bed before my 90 year old grandmother.
Sunday morning I got up around 9 AM, went to the grocery store, and then came home and called Greg. He came over around 1:00 and we went to Hickory Hollow, this really great barbecue place around the corner from my house. We didn't talk about what all our problems much, but I'm glad we didn't. It just didn't seem like the time for it for some reason. We then came back to my house and fell asleep for a few hours while cuddling on the couch. When he left around 6 PM, I sat there a minute trying to figure out how things had done such a 180 in such a short amount of time, yet I don't think I'm going to analyze things too much. I think that I spend too much time trying to put things in a little box, and that's one of the things that Greg always complained about me. I spend too much time trying to FIX things instead of just enjoying what is going on at the time. I agree with him on that topic.
So do I have a boyfriend again? I don't really know.
Back to my weekend...after Greg left, I went to bed at 6:45 and slept until my alarm went off at 5:10 this morning. I live an exciting life.
Tonight I plan on watching Celebrities on Skates or Ice Skating Celebs or whatever the hell it's called. Trainwreck on Ice? I figure that will be over around 8:00, and by that time I'll be ready for bed. Again, what an exciting life I live. Of course I've already had my fun though for the next 17 years...
3:18 p.m. - 2006-01-23
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