Welcome to my happily ever after...
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snap out of it
I went to my friend Rick's house yesterday afternoon and cried like a baby. I just could not help it. I still hadn't really broken down since Carlos broke up with me, and that combined with the strange emotions that crystal gives me, to my most current HIV scare. Poor Rick just sat there trying to console me, and finally he gave up and just hugged me. I needed that.
I gave Jacob my pipe and told him to hide it from me. LOL...so don't be surprised when you see me smoking out of a coke can. Oh...that is so not funny. This is serious.
I think I should blame that guy that introduced me to this about 6 weeks ago. He gets online and gets little groups together and they get high. The first time I went over there, I wondered why he would provide free drugs for everyone. Now I know why: he's a dealer and he's recruiting customers. It worked in my case, but I guess I was an easy sell. I'm subconsciously looking for trouble to get into.
I want to try to help Jacob overcome all these problems he has right now. But how can I do that when I can't even help myself? We're exactly in the same boat....only thing is that he's about 3 months further down the line. I still have my car and my house and my job. But if I don't snap out of it, I won't have any of them.
4:07 p.m. - 2004-12-20
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