Welcome to my happily ever after...
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grandma chic
Well, we're in the home stretch now. I have one hour and 45 mins to go before I can go home. Tonight is my date....I can't decide what I want to do. Should I go? I could, but there can't be any kissing or sex. Then again, if I really want to get to know this guy, we shouldn't really be having sex anyways. Since when am I a fucking Puritan though?
I'm looking forward to eating some wings! Of course, having a few beers sounds good too.
One thing I am insecure about which is something that I have been weird about for quite a while: my apartment. I have a very eclectic mix of stuff. Other than my new bedroom suit, pretty much everything I have is something that I have either bought and refurbished or was given and then refurbished. The only two pieces of furniture I bought new were my kitchen table and my couch. Everything else is old and then stripped and refinished, recovered with new fabric, etc. Then for my knick-knacks, I have antique-y type stuff such as old glass lamps and antique picture frames. I like it, but it isn't exactly a page out of Better Homes and Gardens.
I went to Jerrod's house and it's plush. He works for a furniture/decorating store, and as a result everything looks like a page out of a catalog. Mine is old. His is new. Grandma Chic vs. Real Chic.
Why do I let myself feel inferior even if it's about stuff that I really like?
Somehow I just don't think that I got the gay decorating gene. It seems like every other fag I know got it. How did I get missed?
I know I've said it a million times, but I avoid social situations where I have to make idle conversation like the plague. Just thinking about having to shoot the shit tonight freaks me out! And you know, I talk to strangers all day long doing what I do....I'd venture to say that I probably talk to 100 different people a day, and with each I have to try to establish some sort of rapport with each. But on the phone is way different that having them stand or sit there in front of me.
I'm getting nervous.
3:45 p.m. - 2004-11-03
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