Welcome to my happily ever after...
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VIBRATOR BLUES
So much to write about! Where to begin?
Let's start with my doctor's appointment yesterday afternoon. I successfully made it there with no traffic, no wrecks on the road, no severe shortage of parking spaces. They took my new insurance with no sweat, I didn't have to wait long at all, and the doctor was nice and sympathetic. She did tell me however that all the things that I worry about are not typical. She didn't tell me that I was a blabbering freak, and she said something about it showing real courage to ask for help. She prescribed me an antibiotic for my croupy cough I have, a tube of steriod cream for my hand, and Zoloft for my head. She literally gave me the Zoloft, enough for 30 days, and told me to come back in a month to let her know how I am feeling. I went home last night, lay all my various medications on the table, and I wondered how many toxins I will be putting in my body as a result.
I do not take many medications other than vitamins and the occasional antihistamine. Last night, about an hour after I popped that first Zoloft, I could feel it. Or rather, I could feel something. They told me that I shouldn't be feeling anything for at least a week, but I am not kidding: I felt something. Perhaps the power of suggestion is all it takes. I read these studies where they test a group of people that are given a real medication and a group that are given a placebo, like a sugar pill. So many times the placebo group report feeling the same things as the people that actually took the medicine.
Two of the not so great things that I experienced since then are nightmares last night, which I never, ever have. I mean I've had like three nightmares my whole life, and last night I had at least two. Also, my sense of smell is on overdrive. I mean like bionic, wild dog-like sense of smell. Right now, I can smell the perfume the girl two cubicles over is wearing. While getting dressed this morning, I could smell the dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. I guess if I keep taking Zoloft and eventuallly quit this job, I can get a job as a sniffer dog for the police.
OH! I totally forgot to write about this!
At the hospital on Sunday, my mother said something that almost made me fall out of my chair. Here goes:
For their anniversary, my dad gave my mother one of those massagers that you put on the back of a chair. After sitting in the hospital chairs all last week, my mother's back was killing her, so she'd mentioned to me that she was going to go home this weekend and relax on the massager. However she doesn't use the word massager....she uses the word vibrator.
So there we all were on Sunday visiting my dad in the hospital when the nurse came in. All the nurses there know my parents rather well after all the time they've spent there throughout the years, and making small talk, the nurse asked my mother how her back was feeling. That's when my mom busted out with:
"Jim gave me a big vibrator for our anniversary, so I went home last night and used the vibrator for a couple of hours. I feel great today!"
I could have died. I mean, how do you approach your mother and tell her she simply must stop using the word vibrator? Holy shit, who wouldn't feel great after using a vibrator for two whole hours? LOL....
I wish Diaryland could get that server stuff ironed out. I've clicked on Add an Entry like 400 times and can't get the page. AARGH!
1:16 p.m. - 2004-06-09
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