Welcome to my happily ever after...
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Anxiety!
Tuesday. Today is usually the toughest day of the week for me. I'm leaving today at 2 to go to the doctor, and am I retarded for being excited about something as mundane as seeing the doctor? I can't decide why. Is it the missing work for a couple of hours or the promise of relief for the ailments that have been troubling me for so long? I am torn.
I am not jazzed about the thought of driving into downtown at 3 PM, and even less so about the thought of driving home around 5. That is part of the reason why I think that some sort of anxiety medication might be something I should pursue: I never go anywhere for worrying about everything all the time. What if I get there late? What if I can't find a place to park? What if there's a big wreck and I get stuck there for hours waiting for it to clear? What if I run into someone I worked with at Shell? What if the doctor doesn't believe me? What if they moved offices and I can't find them? What will I do if it rains this afternoon? What will I do if I get soaking wet walking from the parking garage to her office? What if.....
See how my brain works? I can't be like this. Does anyone else have their brain run out of control like this? I am one french fry short of a Happy Meal.
Changing the subject, what is J Lo thinking? I mean really......is she really that in need of a man at all times? I used to think that she was a pretty cool chica, however my feelings for her have somehow shifted towards pity. She samples husbands like you'd sample cheese at your local Pepperidge Farm.
I watched the best show on the National Geographic channel last night about a cruise ship that sank back in 1991. They actually had video footage of the ship as it was going down, and it was so scary! That is one of biggest fears besides not finding a place to park and walking out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to my shoe.
I am trying to read more, and I've been going to the library on lunch every couple of weeks to check out books. I can't seem to find anything that really interests me though. Anyone read anything good lately? Any good fiction? I need to run errands on lunch today and take back my books from last time, go cash a check, etc, but it's pouring, POURING, outside. Ugh. Anxiety!
10:59 a.m. - 2004-06-08
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