Welcome to my happily ever after...
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bad decisions
Here I am at work on Good Friday. It's all dark and spooky in here because there are only 3 of us here in the building, and also because all the lights won't come on because the computer shuts them off because technically, it's a HOLIDAY. So far I've been here two holidays, and I guess I don't understand why a holiday is not really considered a holiday around here. It sucks. Also, on Fridays we leave at 3 PM. We take 45 minute lunches throughout the week so we can leave an hour early on Friday. Not today though....my boss asked me to stay until 4:15 just in case something happens. I am not very happy about that at all, however I have to look at it in terms of $. That extra hour and 15 mins gives me an extra $40. I can buy a shirt or something.
I don't have any plans this weekend at all. Maddey is going to Corpus to visit her family, and then Carlos is working on Saturday. Those are the only two people that I ever really spend any time with.
Speaking of Carlos, we got in a humdinger of a fight last night. Here's the story:
Yesterday afternoon I went home on lunch. I realized looking in the mirror at work that one sideburn was about an inch longer than the other, so I went home on lunch, took my clothes off, and knelt down in front of the faucet and shaved. So I was getting dressed when Carlos came in from class and I was tucking in my shirt. He accused me of coming home on lunch so I could jerk off. WHAAATTTT? Where the heck did that come from? I was like #1, if that's what I wanted to do, I'd come home and jerk off every day if the spirit moved me, and #2, what is he? The jerk-off police?
So by arguing that I could jerk off if I wanted to, it made me sound more and more like that had been my intent.
I mean really, who gives a fuck? So when I got home from work last night, he accused me of lying. I told him I was sick of him pouting around the apartment all the time, and if he couldn't start being nicer to me, he could pack up his belongings and get the fuck out. It went as far as him telling me he'd be out by next week. I then centered myself and realized I was being an ass. His issue with me is that he wants to have sex more. When I don't put out on a regular basis, he gets all sullen and weird. My issue is that I want him to be nice to me. When he's not nice, therefore I'm not nice, and I surely don't feel like having sex. It's a vicious circle. I don't want him to move out. I just want him to act like he wants me around. That's it.
So we made up and watched The Apprentice. At 9, he went out and met Mario at Meteor for drinks, and I watched TV and went to bed. I was tired after all the activity throughout the day.
Who do you think will win The Apprentice? I'm hoping Bill, mainly because I wonder what he looks like naked. Actually both he and Kwame are pretty attractive.
The weekends are when it gets hard not to want to drink. In fact, Carlos is working early tomorrow. Perfect opportunity to stay up after he hits the sack and toss back a few beers. However I know that's exactly what NOT to do. We shall see what I end up doing. My friend Jason from my last job called earlier this week and asked me to go out for drinks tonight. I forgot about that! I think it's probably for the best. Remember he's the one that I went out with last September and when we got home, he and his friend put the moves on me and had porn playing on the TV?
It's all about cause and effect. One bad decision can ruin the whole weekend. I get drunk on Friday, then I'm a bitch on Saturday. That in turn makes my boyfriend a bitch. Then we are both bitches the rest of the weekend punishing the other.
Fun stuff.
11:05 a.m. - 2004-04-09
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