Welcome to my happily ever after...
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a woman touched my penis
Ok, it's 5:45 AM and I'm getting ready for work. I don't have much time, so I'm going to type as furiously as possible. Please excuse all the typos.
So I went to the clinic yesterday to get a VD test. I didn't really have any typical symptoms...or least the same ones I did the one time I got gonorrhea from the cop a couple of years ago. So I go to the reception desk and say "I have an appointment at noon...my name is Jonathan". The woman yells "YOU HERE FOR YOUR STD TEST? FILL THIS OUT AND BRING IT BACK UP HERE!".
"Ok" I say as meekly as possible and turn around the face the full waiting room. Not one of my proudest moments, but you know, fuck it. It's a damn VD clinic, right?
So when they finally call me back to examine me, I'm like fuck...it's that same bastard as the last time I was here last June. The guy has some sort of chip on his shoulder when sometimes all people really need is some TLC. I mean, it's humiliating enough as it is.
I go into the room and there's two female nurses. Both look to be about 22 years old. The doctor says "We are being observed today by students." Mmmmkay.
So he asks what brings me there and I say "Well, I had a tryst, and since then I haven't been feeling quite like I should. It was just oral sex..."
At that point, the doctor throws my file down on the ground and stamps up and down on it. "ORAL SEX LED TO 4 MILLION CASES OF SYPHILLIS LAST YEAR!!! Just oral sex? Hmmph!" he says.
"Well, maybe, but I just wanted you to know I didn't have unprotected anal sex or anything" I say.
"NO MAYBE ABOUT IT! Are you doubting my statistics?".
"No, not at all." I say.
What I wanted to tell him was that it sounded like he needed to have some fucking oral sex and chill the fuck out. I refrained though.
So the female nurse tells me to drop my pants and then grabs my dick and rather roughly shoves that charming little q-tip in the head. It felt really nice. The doctor then examines me like I have leprosy or something and tells me that I don't have VD, but rather I have some sort of bacteria that one can get from getting oral sex from someone. He said people have bacteria in their mouth, both good and bad, and sometimes that bacteria can get inside the hole of one's penis. That's what happened to me. So he gave me a one time dose of antibiotic, I zipped up, said "Thank you ladies" and looked at all three of them, and walked to the lab to get my HIV test.
I now have to wait until April 7 to get my results, however I'm not on pins and needles this time like I was last year.
I have to say that yesterday was a first though. March 24, 2004 was the first time in my life that my penis was fondled by a woman.
6:04 a.m. - 2004-03-25
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