Welcome to my happily ever after...
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J-Ho
I have been so nostalgic the last couple of days! For some reason, listening to the Dixie Chicks always makes me feel all misty and weird. I bought their latest live CD and was listening to it on the way to work. That song Truth # 2 makes me think about that time I went to Austin with those two lesbians that I met through Maddey. That was back in March of 2002, and I have a hard time believing that time is going by so quickly! Getting older really sucks.
That trip to Austin made me start thinking about how I relate to people. When I headed off on that trip, I was so convinced that we were all going to become really good friends. I sure was wrong! I never really talked to either one again after that. It wasn't that we got in a fight or anything like that...rather we just didn't click for some reason. I have a rather dry sense of humor, and very often people think I'm standoffish or stuck-up when I'm really just shy. I guess the combination of the two puts off people. I find this quite often in my life....I am thrust into some sort of social situation where I don't really click with anyone no matter how hard I try. Oh well....what are you going to do?
In the case of the two lesbians I mentioned from my Austin trip, I sometimes wonder how things would have turned out had we kept hanging out. One of them moved to Austin, shaved her head, and is getting her master's degree in something like Feminist Studies. The other is still here in Houston, however Maddey told me she got sick of being a lesbian and has been dating a guy for the last year.
I come across people all the time who make the effort to try to be friends with me, however for some reason or another I find a reason not to allow myself to get close to them. I convince myself that it's just too much trouble to open up. Now here in my diary and with my diaryland buddies, nothing is too personal, however in my real life I am a little more circumspect. The only people that I really let in are Seth and Maddey.
I guess my question is whether or not it is better to have only two good friends or a bunch of so-so friends. I honestly think I'd rather the former.
Top Model this week was so darn good! Can you believe that Tyra is putting out an album though? Both the song and the video just reeked of J-Lo.
Speaking of J-Ho, I'm proud of her lately as she has been lying low. It was a bit much there for a while when she was going to the opening of an envelope.
I'm out.
11:41 a.m. - 2004-02-26
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