Welcome to my happily ever after...
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the "rules"
I'm sitting at my desk eating lunch. I've been going to Chick-Fil-A and getting their chargrilled southwest salad. It's pretty darn good, and then I get the fat free honey mustard dressing. After looking at the sunflower seeds and croutons that come with it, I think of all the poor people that eat a salad thinking it's healthy. The seeds and the croutons add 17 grams of fat. That's why salad bars crack me up...you see all these folks eating salad thinking they are doing their bodies a favor, but all the cheese and dressing and croutons make a hamburger and fries much healthier. Ranch dressing has something like 18 grams of fat in two tablespoons full. I always thought that I knew how to eat healthy until I did some research a few years ago....I always thought that eating rice and beans was healthy. Who knew that carbs were on the no-no list? Of course then that whole Atkins thing sounds bad to me too...you may get thin, but you'll fall down dead from a heartattack. Then there's fruits and vegetables...I simply cannot begin to tell you how many farmers my dad has met at the hospital that are also getting their chemotherapy. Many, many of them attribute their cancer to the pesticides they use on their crops. So then the alternative is to try to eat organically grown product, yet what is the guarantee that it is actually organic?
Some people say to drink lots of milk. Some say to avoid dairy altogether. Eat meat...don't eat meat. Blah, blah, blah. I can see why everyone is confused and why obesity is on the rise.
I personally have said this before and I'll say it again....I think I am both fat and skinny at the same time. I want to gain weight from the waist down and lose weight from the waist up. Rather than trying to both gain and lose simultaneously, I am now trying this program where I eat 5000 calories a day for 2 weeks and lifting very heavy weights and no cardio, and then follow it up with one week of keeping it less than 2000 calories and picking up the cardio. Then I start the cycle all over again....kinda like 2 steps forward and one step back. LOL...we shall see if this works.
There's a spoof of Queer Eye on Comedy Central tonight called Straight Plan for the Gay Man. I'm sure that curiosity might get me to check it out (most likely to see if the poor gay guy is cute), however I'm hoping that it doesn't go over big. I was secretly hoping after a while that Queer Eye would go away too, but they don't seem to be as they now have music videos and a book out.
Changing the subject, does religion and structure lead to serenity? I have so desperately been searching for some assemblance of serenity in my life. So far to me, religion has just made me feel worse about myself when I mess up and do something that I should not. There just doesn't seem to be much gray in the interpretation...everything is very black and white. Maybe I'm just studying the wrong religion for me, however I also don't want to think that I can bend the "rules" anytime I feel like it.
You know, for the most part in my life I do everything I can to make others around me feel good about themselves. Like davemarr told me once, it's all about trying to make others around us feel good. When I fall off the "good" wagon, even then I'm hopefully making others feel good. I may be on my knees in the steamroom, but hey, I have the best intentions. It's all about making others feel good, and hey, I'm out there making others one by one feel good.
2:20 p.m. - 2004-02-23
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