Welcome to my happily ever after...
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vent-a rama
My trip to visit the folks didn't go so great. When I got there, I could tell that the mood was sour, and when I asked my dad what the deal was, I could tell that he was mad at me for some reason.
Here's the story. Since he retired, he spends hours, and I mean HOURS, on the internet, and we have no idea what he's doing. Mind you, I spend hours on the internet as well, however he does it sometimes until 4 or 5 am in the morning. I spent the night there Wednesday night, and every time I woke up, he was still online...I could tell because his office is right across the hall from my bedroom. I told him the next day that having cancer, he should be trying to rest instead of staying up all night long. I could tell he wanted me to mind my own beeswax.
Turns out he is downloading background music off various music websites. Karaoke type stuff. Remember how I said he had decided that he is now going to become a famous singer? He went out the other day and unbeknownst to my mother, spent $800 on a videorecorder that records DVDs. Why you ask? So he can tape himself singing and then submit them to music labels. Keep in mind that my dad is almost 70 years old and can't sing a note to save his life. I've tried to be supportive of his new "hobby", however everyone thinks he has gone completely bonkers. He will show his tapes of him singing to virtually anyone that will listen, and it was rather embarrassing for my family when neighbors and friends stopped by during the holidays and my dad would make them watch his tapes.
Even better, his college buddies are having their yearly reunion coming up in May, and my dad begged them to sing at their reunion. The clincher? He didn't even graduate with them! It's not his reunion! My mother told me that they are being nice to him and trying to convince him that the reunion is on a schedule and they don't know if they could work it in, but my dad isn't taking no for answer. He recorded himself singing various songs to show them how good he is. I got a copy of this DVD he made for Christmas, and I must say that my dad's version of "I'm So Excited" by the Pointer Sisters might get that party started.
Now his college buddies won't return my dad's calls or emails because they are avoiding him to keep from telling him he can't sing at their reunion. My dad is crushed.
Then to make the matters worse, my grandmother told my mother that she thought my dad was up there on the internet all night long in chat rooms. When my grandmother mentioned that my dad stayed up all night (and she can't even see or hear that great), that's when my mother got upset. So today she asked him pointblank what he was up to, and he told her to mind her own business. Big mistake. So my mom shot back with something to the effect of "Everyone thinks you've lost your mind....Jonathan, Granny, everyone!". Not a good thing to say because I am now guilty by association. He's now mad at me too.
My mother and father have never really EVER gotten along. He always worked out of town, and it was the perfect arrangement for them. Now that he's retired and home all the time, they are seriously about to kill each other. That's part of the reason why I go out there all the time is because I know they probably go the whole week not speaking a word to each other. They are dying for someone to talk to....however I am going to put my foot down now about them talking to me about the other one. I am their son...not their therapist. After months (years) of this, I simply cannot have my parents bitch about the other one to me. That's not my place, or should I be burdened with that. They are my parents.
Ugh. As miserable as they both are with each other, I sometimes think it might be for the best if they just leave each other and try to make it on their own. I know that's horrible of me to say...however when you are completely miserable in your marriage, what else are you going to do? Just wait until the other one dies?
I'm horrible. But sometimes I feel that is what they are doing. My mother told me today that she thinks my dad is resentful that he's the one that got cancer and not her. I have to say that I might agree that he does feel this way.
Also, since my dad got sick a couple of years ago, like I said before, he's lost it. He is like a 68 year old child. I don't know if it's the stress of the the cancer, the chemotherapy and other poisonous substances they pumped into him, I dont know what, but he has seriously lost it. Remember my story about the Mexican TV set I posted a few days ago? He wasn't like that before.
I really don't know what we are going to do with him.
Also, he is really interested in all these get rich quick schemes he found on the internet. My mother and I are afraid he's giving out confidential information about he and my mother to these con men in good faith and that they will only steal us blind. Seriously. We get calls all the time from people he's met online that promised to get him rich. Scary.
Oooh! I just thought of something else. He and my mother both have their own email addresses on AOL, and after my mom pissed him off, he yelled at her about why she's been contacting people wanting to improve her sex life. Apparently the spammers got hold of her email address and she is now getting spam email. My dad thinks they are from an actual person that is specifically emailing my mother, rather than mass emailing 2309430498 people as well. He thinks she's having an affair due to all the sex spam she gets in her inbox. I don't know if I should laugh or cry about that. I tried to tell him that once someone gets hold of your email address, they can sell it, and then they sell it, and so on. Heck, when I logged onto my AOL a minute ago, I'd gotten 247 spam emails in only 3 days!
I think I'm done now. I just really needed to vent. I have no idea what's going to happen with all this.
4:21 p.m. - 2003-12-28
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