Welcome to my happily ever after...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the boop story
I went shopping last night and finally bought me a black leather blazer like I've wanted for so long. I'm not sure why I haven't just gone out and bought one the last few years...I guess maybe because it never really gets cold enough down here to even really wear a jacket. They had to order my size....small.
I find it so interesting that once I turned 21, my metabolism changed and I went from 200 lbs to 140 soaking wet. Of course right now I'm up to 155...I weighed myself at the gym yesterday. My weight is completely governed by what is going on in my life, and I remember when I came back from Ohio two years ago from that 3 month business trip, I was down to 137. Most people would gain weight from eating out every meal and living in a hotel, however with me, if I don't snack throughout the day, the weight just falls off me. When you eat out every meal like I did in Cleveland, I didn't snack at all. Now, I'm trying to eat something every 2 hours, and let me tell you, I have been queasy as a result for a week now. But I have put on 5 lbs. Yes sirree. Let's just hope that I don't do like BH said some of his friends did and bulk up and then get lazy and don't take the extra weight off.
I wasn't thrilled when I got to work today and had a voice mail from corporate telling me that they can't make my official hire date effective if I don't fax them back my signed offer letter. Well, I faxed this to them on 09/29, and I saved the confirmation. They better not mess with me at this point because after 10 months of this stalling bullshit, I'm about to lose my patience. I'm ready for some vacation time. I haven't had a day off in close to 300 days and my attitude is getting a bit poor.
Carlos and I do this thing where when something pisses us off or disappoints us, we say "and that makes me...(pause)...sad" and then we point to our eye as if to point to tears. If we like something or something cheers us up, we say "and that makes me...(pause)...happy" and then we point to our mouth as if to point at a smile.
Isn't it funny the dumb things that couples with each other after time ? I've turned into a full-fledged dorkus. Am I the only one that sometimes feels like you can never break up with your partner because of all the humiliating things they know about you? If Carlos ever broke up with me, he has so many things he could tell people to humiliate me.
Uh-oh. I feel a story coming on. And I can't just give you the Cliff Notes version on this one. Get comfortable. (Pronounced com-FORT-a-ble)
For example, two weekends ago, I was babysitting Rico, Tasha's 4 year old brother. I took him to McDonald's, and as soon as we walk in the door, he says "Uncle Jon, I gotta go boop" which means take a shit. So I say "Rico, do you need me to come in there with you and help you?".
"NOOOOOO!!! Jonny, I can do it myself..."
"OK Rico, but I'll be right here if you need me."
He goes in the bathroom and I stand outside the door. After about 30 seconds, I peek in there to make sure that no one else in there. I don't want the poor thing to get abducted while I'm responsible for him...
Anywho, I open the door and he's standing there totally naked.
"RICO!!! What on earth are you doing?!!!"
"I'm about to boop. Go away!"
Come again?
So I go stand outside the door to make sure no one else goes in there and I wait. About 5 minutes later he comes out fully dressed and we go order our lunch. La-dee-da.
Later I mention it to Tasha.
"OMG...I totally forgot to warn you about that! He takes all his clothes off for some reason when he takes a shit. Isn't that strange? We don't know why he does that," she says.
Thanks for warning me. The strange part is that I didn't find it all that odd. Reason being, when I am at home in the privacy of my own house, I do exactly the same thing.
And Carlos knows it.
And that makes me...sad. (points at eye)
8:42 a.m. - 2003-10-07
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------