Welcome to my happily ever after...
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Things that I don't understand
I'm compiling a list of things that either get on my nerves, that I don't understand about people, or both. Please keep in mind that if you do any of these things, this is not a rip against you. At all. I'm just extremely easy to piss off.
And hey, if any of these do apply to you, maybe you can help me better understand why others do these things.
Here goes:
1) People that back their car into parking spots. Tuesday at the gym, I watched a woman try to back her Suburban into a parking spot (which was right next to my car) for a good 5 minutes. A few times she came perilously close to Nellie Nissan, and I had to wonder what the point is of backing into a spot. Is it so they can exit the parking spot faster? How is it faster in the long run when it takes so long to BACK into the spot in the first place? If you know the answer, please explain because I am stumped on this one.
2) Men that wear slip on dress shoes. Don't get me wrong...there are some nice slip on dress shoes, but quite frankly, there aren't very many. Having worked in shoes for so many years, I've become a bit of a shoe snob, and every time I see someone here at work wearing their Florsheim slip ons, I can't help but think of Revenge of the Nerds. Of course I do work in the IT department. Word.
3) Women that wear suntan pantyhose. This is not 1976, and you are not Chrissy Snow or Janet Wood wearing shorts with your high heel canvas and rope-heeled espadrilles. Better yet, just don't wear hose at all unless it's a wedding or a funeral. Trust me.
There's a woman at the gym who wears a leotard with shiny brown hose underneath. I see her on the treadmill almost every time I'm there, and I wonder why the heck she does that. Does hose make you look slimmer? Heck, maybe I should try that.
As an aside, I'll tell a little story. I was the operations manager at Dillards at my first job out of college, and one of my responsibilites was to order supplies for the store, and in this case it was those little try-on hose that women wear when they try on shoes. Well, I hated the brown ones, and I refused to order them, and I only ordered black ones. My boss came to me one day and said "Jonathan, I was trying on shoes and asked for a pair of try-on hose, and one of the employees told me that you aren't ordering the brown ones anymore because you said they are ugly." I was like "Uh, yeah, what's your point?" so she told me in no uncertain terms that I had start ordering them again because women didn't want to try on white shoes with black hose, and I shot back with "Women shouldn't be buying white shoes anyways....". That didn't go over well.
4) People that run into the elevator just as the door is closing, and/or people that take the elevator down one story when they could take the stairs here at work. Now I understand taking the elevator if you are in a building that you are not familar with. However, we spend roughly 2080 hours a year here at work....I guarantee these people know where the stairs are, and in this case, they are right next to the elevators.
Also, you should see the size of most of the people that work here at my company. No wonder they make everyone here take a physical before they will hire you...they want to make sure you won't fall down dead from obesity. Most of these people would benefit from taking the stairs once in a while.
5) When people put political banners in their diaries. Granted, it is your diary and you can put kiddie porn in there if you like because it your diary, and you can do whatever you want with it. Just don't expect me to read it. I went through my "We're here, we're queer...get used to it" phase 10 years ago.
6) People that write checks still when paying for something at the store. Yes, checks are a valuable form of payment in cases like when you mail your rent, paying mortgages, blah. I have no issue at all with paying bills that way. It's a great way to have record that you actually paid the thing.
However, when you are buying groceries and I am in a hurry on my way home after work, please do not write a check. Also, if you absolutely insist on writing a check, do me a favor and start writing it out before the checker gives you the total. It really saves a lot of time.
But even better, get a fucking check card. I mean really, this is 2003, and even the smallest banks offer such things nowadays. I know this. Carlos works at the smallest bank in America.
7) Men that shave in the sauna/steam room at the gym. This is just plain gross, and quite frankly, I don't want your stubble embeded in the bottom of my feet.
Dude. I'm going to add to my list later as I think of more things.
8:57 a.m. - 2003-10-02
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