Welcome to my happily ever after...
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Jennifer Garner's panties
When I die, I want to be reincarnated as Jennifer Garner's panties. No really....I know that just doesn't sound right coming from a gay man, but I would seriously eat her muff with some boobies on the side. Since I bought Season One of Alias on DVD, I've gone home and watched 2 episodes a night, and last night was no exception. Did anyone else see the one where she kicked Anna Espinoza's ass wearing the red wig? I think I got a little moist. I hope my senior citizen upstairs neighbors didn't hear me squealing with delight.
Much love to my friend Todd who sent me a weblink from where he works. I went online after work yesterday and bought me a new dildo. A new black one, thank you very much. And Lord have mercy, this time I got a 6" one. The last one was 9", and Carlos and I nicknamed it the "dildo of death" because I tell you, 9" is a bit too big when you both have petite holes like us, mmmkay? I have to tell you, shopping online for this kind of thing is so much easier than going into the store. Remember my last dildo experience? Horrible! I still wake up in a sweat thinking about it.
Also thanks to BH for telling me how to clean it. He said to use Palmolive and hot water. I told Carlos about that last night. I can see the day I walk in the kitchen and he's using the kitchen scrubber cleaning it. Icky.
I have a new show that I'm obsessed with. Has anyone else seen that show Newlyweds with Jessica Simpson and Nick Whatshisname? I was a bit skeptical when it debuted, however I watched the first few episodes this past weekend and laughed my ass off. I guess I find it so funny watching them get used to living together because that's what Carlos and I have been going through. Plus when Jessica Simpson asked if Chicken of the Sea was really chicken because it tasted like tuna, I think I hurt myself laughing.
Have I ever written about my upstairs neighbor I had a few years ago? I had an apartment where I shared a heating duct with the upstairs neighbor, and as a result I could hear everything that he said, what he was watching on TV, etc. Everyone once in a while, I'd assumed that he'd brought someone home from the bars with him as he looked like he was into that Ripcord/Rawhide sort of bondage thing, and I'd hear them having really vocal sex.
"Say you're a cocksucking slut...." (deep voice)
"I'm a cocksucking slut....fuck me harder please!" (whimpering, higher pitched voice)
I was like damn, you go girl, but I really didn't think too much of it other than when I had friends over. They'd sit on the couch with their ears to the vent laughing their asses off.
I never really noticed that I never saw anyone leave his apartment.
One day I was talking to my next door neighbor and I decided to ask him about the pig upstairs.
"Casey, I swear that guy upstairs has some crazy ass sex. I can hear everything through the heating vent."
"Oh Jonathan, that's gone on for years. We can all hear it, even from outside. Have you ever noticed though that no one ever comes downstairs with him afterwards?"
"You're kidding. Right? He's up there by himself?!!"
"Chris, the guy who lived there before you got sick of it and went up there to ask him to knock it off, and Pig had left his blinds open. Chris said he was up there by himself decked out in leather chaps with nothing on underneath. He was dildoing himself lying in a sling while talking in different voices."
After that point, I could hardly look him in the face when I ran into him. I moved not too long after that.
Oh, BTW, my guestbook is back on. Just do me a favor...if you are an overzealous lesbian militant, please refrain from giving me guestbook love unless you have something nice to say. Comprenez vous?
8:42 a.m. - 2003-09-10
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