Welcome to my happily ever after...
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dildo blues
Friday finally! Today has gone really slow at work, and I don't think I'm ever going to get outta here. I've spent the day filng. Four years of college and two years of grad school and I've spent the day alphabetizing. My job rocks.
I don't have any plans tonight so far. I know that Carlos wants to go shopping tomorrow afternoon, and then some friends of his want to see Road to Perdition that night. Other than that, who knows? I talked to Carlos a minute ago, and he asked if I wanted him to come over tonight. Well, Friday night is MY night to be alone and wind down. I don't relish the thought of company, and I'm trying to think of a debonair way to get out of it. Any suggestions?
I know what you are thinking....I am the worst boyfriend in the whole world. Perhaps that is true. However, I love Carlos with every fiber and bone in my body. I just don't want to be around him all the time, if that makes any damn sense.
How on earth could we ever live together?
Changing the subject, I went to the local porn shop last night and bought a dildo. I have never been much of a bottom. I guess "much" isn't the right word....I hate the idea of sticking something in the same hole that I poop out of. But to try to spice up Carlos's and my sex life, I decided I would go buy a dildo to practice. Who knows? Maybe I'm an insatiable black hole bottom and just don't know it yet.
Anyways, I peruse the wide selection hanging on the wall, and I finally decide on a relatively small flesh colored one (trust me....some of them were so big it could have been like sticking one of those orange street pylons up your ass, but I digress). I carefully remove it from the wall and decide to wait til there are no other patrons at the counter to keep from dying of embarrassment when I go pay.
So I wait and try to look nonchalant while holding this dildo, which is a hard task, let me tell ya. Nonchalance was a pretty hard fucking thing to fake....
Well, finally the coast is clear and I make a beeline to the counter, and fuck me if about 5 guys come in the front door and are standing there right as the salesclerk yells:
"Honey! You don't bring it up here! You are supposed to tell me the number on the little tag hanging beside it so I can get you new one in a box!"
Ummm....I could have died.
12:32 p.m. - 2002-07-19
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