Welcome to my happily ever after...
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Miss Jonathan if you're nasty
LOOK AT MY NEW TEMPLATE THAT MY BUDDY OZ DESIGNED FOR ME!!! VERY HOT AND SPICY, JUST LIKE I LIKE MY MEN!
THANKS OZ! YOU DA MAN.
Last night, Carlos and I decided to go with Tasha and her GF to JR's. For some reason, the girls wanted to celebrate the Supreme Court repealing the sodomy law here in Texas. Very interesting for a bunch of lesbians that munch rug and two gay men that never have anal sex.
Anywho, we got there around 8:30, and there were lots of people there considering it was a school night. Now that I'm old and married, I'd forgotten how many queens go out during the week. There was once a time in my life that I'd have been there at 2 AM on a Tuesday watching the amateur strip contest, but now at 2 AM, I will have been in bed for 4 hours.
It was fun to get out for a while until I had a 147 year old man walk up to me and try to talk to me. It went something like this:
OLD MAN: How do I know you?
ME: I don't think that you do.
OLD MAN: No, I never forget a face...especially when I'm drunk.
ME: Have you met my boyfriend Carlos?
OLD MAN: Hi Carlos. I'm much cuter than you are. Why don't you take a hike and let me get to know your friend here.
ME: Umm.....why don't you take a hike you old fuck? We were having a conversation here before you busted in with your dated old pick up lines.
I can tell that Carlos' latin machismo is boiling to head, and quite frankly I don't want to be kicked out of the bar never to return after Carlos knocks his head off so I turn around and attempt to finish the witty story I had been telling. Apparently the old man either has no short term memory and is very persistant because he comes back for round 2.
OLD MAN: Do you know who I am? My name is Jim and I own the biggest chain of funeral homes in Texas!
ME: That's nice. It should do you some good in a couple of years when you fall down dead from old age.
OLD MAN: Fuck you man! You are just rude! I'm just talking to you to get to know you a little better. Why don't we go to the bar and have a drink?
At this point Carlos has had enough.
CARLOS: Hey man, did you come here with friends?
OLD MAN: Yeah, we're doing our Thursday bar crawl. They're the ones who wanted me to come over here and talk to your boyfriend.
CARLOS: Well, why don't you go back over to them before I wipe up the bar with your saggy old ass.
OLD MAN: I'd like to see you try.
I can see Carlos starting to "puff up", kinda like those lizards do to try to scare off their opponent, but in this case there was no need. Carlos had a good 50 lbs on this dude. I realize that it's staring to look like that scene in the Beat It video, only in this case they weren't going to have a dance off. I decide to be proactive and drag everyone to the other side of the bar, all the while the old man yells obscenitites at me.
What are people thinking when they think that approach will successfully bag someone at a bar? Carlos just emailed me and told me he was still mad about that.
I only had a couple of beers, and I woke up this morning refreshed and ready to work. Until I looked out the window and saw the pouring rain. With all this rain, I feel like I'm in Seattle. So running to my car leaving for work, I got extra juicy from the rain, and then halfway to work, I realized I'd forgotten my glasses, so I had to turn back and start all over again. My socks and shoes are a tad wet for my liking, particularly as how it's about 60 degrees in here. Maybe I can catch a cold and not have to go to the parade tomorrow night. One can wish.
So to make myself feel better driving to work, I listened to the Janet Control album. Nothing makes me feel better than some Nasty in the morning. My name is Jonathan. Miss Jonathan is you're nasty.
Speaking of listening to CDs in the car, I don't recommend listening to the Madonna "What It Feels Like For A Girl" remixes while driving. I attempted this while driving to the folks house up highway 59 last Sunday, and I found myself driving like she did in the video.
Well, I can't be any more random for now. Must....go....work.
8:29 a.m. - 2003-06-27
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