Welcome to my happily ever after...
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the bachelorette's feet
I never realized how many things I took for granted when I lived alone. For example, I used to sleep spread eagle in the middle of my bed. Now, somehow I manage to sleep on 1/4 of the bed on my side without falling off onto the floor. Also, I knew that when I went to the grocery store and bought food, when I opened the fridge door to retrieve the said food, it would always be there. Not anymore. I knew that when the roll of toilet paper ran out, I could look under the sink and there was always a replacement because I mentally knew how many rolls were down there. Not this morning. I wiped my ass with coffee filters. Ahh, marriage.
Don't get me wrong. There are many wonderful things about living with your lover. Hold on...let me think of one. I'm still thinking.
Just kidding.
Sort of.
I went to the gym again last night, but don't worry my little chickadees, I was a good boy. I went to a yoga class and then did abs.
Turns out though that Latin Bodybuilder does speak English, and he asked me to go get a drink with him after I was done working out. I politely declined. I knew what he wanted it to lead to. Once is recreation. Twice is courtship.
If one more person asks me what I'm doing for the pride parade, I'm going to kick them. Why is not going to the parade somehow akin to killing puppies for pleasure? I don't get it.
Has anyone seen "The Ring"? If Carlos calls me one more time and says "seven days" and then hangs up, I'm going to wring his neck. That shit scares me.
Did I see the Bachelorette was going to pose for Playboy? Was it just me, or did she have the ugliest hands you've ever seen? Guess it was just me. I hope her feet aren't as manly as her hands otherwise sandal season must be a bitch for her. I did see one of those episodes where she was in a bikini and barefoot, and her toenails looked like old Mustangs with a bad paint job. Maybe Hef will make her wear some nice pumps with a toe in them.
Feet gross me out.
10:08 a.m. - 2003-06-19
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