Welcome to my happily ever after...
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blood everywhere
I have started something really bad. On the weekends, after Carlos goes to bed, I sit on the couch and drink. He usually goes to bed around 9, and after that, I drink, fall asleep on the couch and sleep there all night. He doesn�t mind me being out there because he loves the fact he has the bed all to himself. I only have been doing this on nights when I don�t work the next day, and when he gets up at 7 AM to go to work, I then go get in bed and sleep it off. Shit. I thought living together would straighten me up. It did for a while.
I�m sick right now. I think I have a sinus infection. I know that I shouldn�t be drinking, but I swear that once I get that first drink, my nasal passages become less stuffy. At least they did last night.
I never drink hard alcohol. I mean EVER. Never ever. That is until last night. I went to the liquor store and got a bottle of vodka and a couple of two liters of Diet 7Up and made vodka and 7�s. I figured it was easier to hide from Carlos than all those beer cans. About a month ago, I hid some beer cans in the pantry and forgot about them! Needless to say, Carlos found them and I made up some lame story about why they were there involving my parents coming over and having to hide them in a hurry.
What a twisted web I weave.
I haven�t written about the growth I developed on my left butt cheek. It just appeared one day, and I watched it grow, and grow, and grow. It began to actually hurt sometimes when I sat down because it was right on my left buttbone, and putting my weight on it hurt. I know I should have gone to the doctor, but as I have mentioned many times, I am still contact at work. No permanent position = no benefits. Of course, I could have gone on a Cobra from my old job (even though it was $400 a month!), but I didn�t think I needed it because current job said they would have me hired on within a month. Cut to five months later, and I�m still waiting.
Part of the reason I haven�t thrown an absolute fit at work about my employment status is because I�m making $7000 more a year on contract.
See my situation?
Anywho, back to my butt growth. Carlos told me that it had recently grown exponentially, and even though I have to contort myself to see it in the mirror, I looked and he�s right. What is so strange is that it was hanging on by a little piece of skin no bigger than the size of a pencil eraser, yet the growth was about the size of a marble.
So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I just got razor blade and cut the damn thing off. My bathroom looks like an ax murder took place in there, but it�s gone. Now if I can just get my ass to stop bleeding. It�s been bleeding now for almost an hour!
I really want to get my life in order. No really.
I hate nothing more than people who bitch and moan about their lives but never do anything to try to improve their situation. How did I get to this point?
I don�t want to do anything all day but sit around and watch 5943598735 Real Worlds on MTV. They�re having a marathon.
Did I mention that the first season of Charlie�s Angels came out on DVD? Yup, I ordered it on Tuesday. I can�t wait to watch them, even though I pretty much already have all the lines memorized.
God, I�m a queen.
2:27 p.m. - 2003-05-31
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