Welcome to my happily ever after...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
fucked in the head
I am so grouchy today that I'm even pissing myself off.
For the last couple of days, I've tried calling Carlos at home and he never answers his phone! It drives me nuts. So by the time I finally end up talking to him, I'm angry and don't want to talk anymore. Makes a lot of sense, huh? That's what just happened a few minutes ago. I try calling both his cell and home phones, but he's either asleep, working out, or watching TV, and in any of those cases, he will not answer the phone. So just a second ago when he finally called me back, I had to tell him to talk fast because I was to be in someone's office in two minutes. He told me he was NOT going to condense the story he was telling me, so I said "fine!" and hung up the phone.
I've been so crabby for a while. I know what it is, but it freaks me out to write about it. Here goes:
I don't want to live with Carlos.
I just don't.
I hate sharing. I don't feel like accounting for my actions. I don't feel like cleaning up after another person.
It's too late now. He's moved half his worldly possessions in my apartment at this point, and there is no turning back now. Honestly, the only way to circumvent living together this far along in the game is to break up. And remember, I'm the one that went crawling back to him in May begging to get back together? Well, seven months later, I'm feeling just like I did when we broke up the last time.
I am seriously fucked in the head.
10:36 a.m. - 2002-12-17
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------