Welcome to my happily ever after...
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1992, looking back
I have tried to make an entry for the last three days, and something happens every time like the power goes out, diaryland blips, etc. I have lost my entry every time.
Carlos came over and we got takeout Ming's and watched "Basic Instinct". For anyone who hasn't seen the Director's Cut, it is much, much more explicit. I swear, at times Carlos and I thought we were watching porn particularly the part where he was munching on her taco. They showed just about everything but full-on tongue penetration.
I'm not sure why I like that movie so much. You know, I remember when it came out in theaters, gays and lesbians picketed at the theaters because they felt that it portrayed an unfair portrayal of gays as murderers. Meanwhile, I was like "this movie is great!" I always have been a terrible fag....terrible both in saying "a really big one" AND really bad at being a stereotypical one.
Good thing I clarified, huh?
I'm in a mood today. Please bear with me.
Also, can you believe it was ten years ago that Basic Instinct came out in theaters? I have been thinking a lot about 1992 because it was a big year for me...the year that I moved off to college and experienced freedom for the first time. My first apartment. My first boyfriend. The year I turned 21.
I sometimes look back and wish I could go back and do it all over again. When I say that, I don't mean do it over differently but rather just live those times again. It was before I fucked myself up with the drinking thing. That didn't present a problem until around 1995.
You know, when I start feeling nostalgic, I have to tell myself that I have to live in the present. It is so important that I keep that in mind and stop wallowing in my memories because as much as I would like to, I can't go back.
You know, I look back at the kind of person I was back then though, and I am so grateful for all the experience and knowledge I've managed to scrape up by now. I wouldn't give that part up for anything, not even the chance to be 20 again.
9:46 a.m. - 2002-06-27
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