Welcome to my happily ever after...
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this too shall pass
Whoever coined the phrase "this too shall pass" really knew their shit. I feel as if it was invented specifically for me. I just wish that I wasn�t always waiting for something unsavory in my life to go away.
I must admit that many of the things that have troubled me recently have floated out of my life just as subtly as they floated in, for example the cop and Danny. However, why is it that something else troubling is always waiting in the wings to take their places?
My back is killing me this morning and it makes me somewhat grouchy. I slept on a bag of frozen peas as a makeshift ice pack, hoping that it would numb the pain somewhat. No avail. Something has got to give soon because it is about to drive me nuts because even driving is painful.
I also have a huge fever blister that is got me feeling kinda low. Whenever my resistance gets low, this is yet another opportunistic self-esteem parasite that jumps in to cut me off at the knees and make me feel even lower. So I have been lying low the last couple of days because I know that it looks as if someone punched me in the mouth. It pisses me off.
I originally had plans with Carlos to go see Undercover Brother, but given the way I look today, I think I might bow out. I can�t even kiss him. Plus I haven�t talked to him in a while. I called him a few times last night but he never picked up or called me back which is very, very odd for him. I�m not going to read anything into it, I guess. I haven�t done anything, however my guilty conscience is always on overdrive.
Connie called in sick for the second day in a row. Man, that woman is never here! I am constantly surprised at how often she is out. I wonder if our new parent company will take that into account when they determine whom they will keep and whom they will give the boot?
Isn�t it interesting how much of our self-esteem we garner from our looks and how we feel about them? I am really down today, and I know it�s because of a stupid fever blister. This body I have is only a shell�something temporary to hold my soul in the meantime. So why can�t I draw strength from what I have inside?
I have been to Hell and back in the last few years, and that again proves my �this too shall pass� saying of the day. My alcoholism, my dad�s cancer, the breakdown of my relationship�.all these things are still here with me, and they always will be. But I am becoming more adept at dealing with all these things over time.
I am not ashamed to say it�I am proud of myself.
But boy do I still need work.8:50 a.m. - 2002-06-04
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