Welcome to my happily ever after...
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ultrasound on my balls
Since I have Thursday and Friday off this week, today seems like Thursday to me. I can handle that....
Not much to report today. My neck is still absolutely killing me, and to make myself as comfortable as possible, I brought my heating pad my home and have it cracked up to high heat on my office chair. Grampa Walton, watch out! I actually considered rubbing some Ben Gay on my neck before I left work but I decided that I didn't want to smell like a nursing home all day.
I haven't talked to Carlos in a while. We emailed back and forth a bit yesterday, but he leaves work at 2:00 typically, and then I didn't talk to him on the phone last night. I think he has made it pretty clear that he doesn't want to get back together with me, but I'm not done with that. I don't give up that easily...
I've invited him to come and watch that cheesy "Divas Live" thing on VH1 Thursday night. Then I will liquor him up with some wine and seduce him....har-har. Actually, it always worked before. But I'll be good and let nature take it's course. He won't be able to resist my charms...
Then this Saturday we're supposedly going to that Titanic exhibit at the museum. He's going to get back together with me because he has absolutely no choice in the matter...I'll drive him nuts until he does!
I seriously need to find me a doctor on my new insurance plan. I am somewhat picky though. I can't quite explain why, but for some reason I prefer a female doctor...if a guy is going to stick his finger up my crack, he better at least buy me dinner first. MMMKAY?
I did have a bad experience with a female nurse once.
I know...another lame story. Well get comfy.
When I was 20 I had to have an ultrasound done on my balls because I had a mysterious lump. So I go and put on that horrible gown and lie on the table, and the nurse proceeds to rub this gooey stuff all over my balls. Well, apparently it started to feel kinda good (as you might imagine when you are 20 years old!), and I started to get an erection. Well, I seriously wanted to die!
To make a long story short, she told me that they couldn't do the ultrasound until I became completely flaccid, and the more we waited, the harder it got. Finally two doctors came in and told me that I would have to go home if I didn't rectify the situation soon....pregnant women were waiting for the ultrasound bed.
It worked.
Humiliation really does kill an erection.
P.S. I turned out okay...I just have varicocele which is varicose veins of the testicles. Doesn't that sound sexy?
10:07 a.m. - 2002-05-21
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