Welcome to my happily ever after...
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nonDEMONinational
My back is absolutely killing me today. I think all this working out I've been doing is taking a toll on my bones. I have been forsaking my yoga classes lately, and I really do think yoga has helped my back with all the stretching. I think I might have to make a trip to the chiropractor. I just wish that it was covered by my insurance.
Speaking of working out, I weighed myself last night and I've put on 10 lbs in the last three weeks. I know, most people would freak out about gaining 10 lbs but I have been trying to eat 100 grams of protein a day to put on weight. So far all those MetRX shakes really are working, despite the fact that they give me terrible gas and I practically have to hold my nose while I drink them. Look out Arnold!
You know, I went another week without going to church. There are three that I am eyeing...one is Methodist, one is Unitarian, and the other is nondenominational. (I just initially typed that as nonDEMONinational and it just didn't look right).
I just have such a fear of going by myself for some reason, but I know that it is something I can conquer on my own yet again. I am one by one checking things off my list of things that I have always wanted to do, and the most satisfying part is knowing that I did them with absolutely no help from anyone at all.
I attempted some sort of reconciliation with Carlos yesterday. We haven't spoken in almost three months, and almost daily something funny happens, and only Carlos would appreciate my sense of humor. For example, this morning there was a girl on the bus with a black backpack with all these silver buckles and little plates on it, and my first thought was "You go girl with your Rhythm Nation backpack". I have a feeling that only Carlos would have understood me...
So I sent him an email yesterday saying "Are you ready to be friends yet?"
He wrote back saying "I am....I just didn't know how to approach the situation....."
I wrote "Good...I'm glad to hear it. I've missed talking to you."
So we wrote back and forth most of the day catching up, and for reason I felt some sort of relief. I actually found some sort of strength from it and I can't quite put my finger on exactly why. I guess maybe because I spent two years getting to know him, and he ultimately became the person in the world that knows me best, and then suddenly he is gone. So bantering back and forth with him again feels like home. Granted, we don't delve into topics like if I've been dating, vice versa, because I don't want to freak him out. He spooks easily.
I invited him to go to the Titanic exhibit with me at the museum. I've really been looking forward to it...they have a bunch of stuff they brought up from the ship. Should be interesting. Both the exhibit and the companionship.
What am I up to?
8:31 a.m. - 2002-05-14
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