Welcome to my happily ever after...
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Verse # 6
My yoga class last night was awesome. I initially went with reservation, and I waited until the last minute to go in. I sure am glad that I did muster the courage though because it was very relaxing, yet energizing in a way. Fortunately, there were only a couple of others in the class, and I felt very comfortable there. I plan to seriously pursue it in the future. Anyone who doesn't think that yoga is much of a workout needs to try it....my legs and arms twitched for almost two hours afterwards from the strain. It felt good...
Tomorrow I am going to the Art Car Parade with Connie and three of her kids. (She has four). I'm already relishing the thought of how we will come across to everyone. I can just imagine everyone whispering and saying "Look at that poor woman...she doesn't know her husband is a big homo". The thought is so delicious I can hardly stand it.
I'm glad that I have something to do tomorrow. It will keep me good tonight. I really struggle on the weekends to keep from drinking. Weekdays are never an issue, but the thought of 48 hours with no place to go sounds too tempting. I hope this subsides someday because the thought of dealing with this forever sounds daunting. I can't let all my progress go to waste at this point though!
I am reading a book right now by the Dalai Lama about how to live fully and responsibly, and according to him there are Eight Verses that we should read, recite, and practice when we face problems. They are supposed to teach us how to deal with our negative emotions and will improve or transform our mind.
Well, # 6 says:
If someone whom I have benefitted
With great hope hurts me very badly,
May I behold him
As my supreme guru.
Basically my interpretation of this is not to hold any negative feelings towards someone whom we trusted and let us down.
Wow...that's a hard one. Guess who I am applying this teaching towards?
You know, I feel the way that Danny has treated me will ultimately be harmful to him in the long run. Tomorrow's events really do depend on today's actions.
Instead of being mad at him, I am a little concerned because to put it bluntly...
his karma is really fucked up.
8:19 a.m. - 2002-04-26
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