Welcome to my happily ever after...
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Glamour Shots and dildos
I'm at work counting the minutes until time to go. I still have 223 more to go....ugh. Connie is on vacation this week and I don't have anyone to pal around with, so I went to the library on my lunch break and checked out a couple of books that caught my eye. I am determined to start going home at night and doing stuff like reading and cleaning house rather than getting online all the time, although I have been having some rather hot cybersex with my hot chap in Indiana. Does having cybersex rather than actual real physical contact make me a goobersmooch? I think not...anything to keep from getting a diseased peepee again.
For reference sake, we shall call my new Indiana friend "Will". Anyways, I have decided that I am going to visit Mr. Will sometime soon. I wonder if I am being a bit impetuous, however it's not like I'm running up there to marry him or anything. I just would like to meet him in person and get to know him a little better. And geez...my friend Shannon went all the way to Australia to meet a guy he met online! Can you imagine? I also don't think Shannon was amused when he showed up in another continent and the guy didn't look anything like the pictures that he sent. I guess that Glamour Shots really can do wonders....lol.
That brings me to a funny story...(well at least it's funny to me!)
When Seth and I worked together in college at a well known department store, we had a coworker that drove Seth absolutely nuts named Sara. Well, even the mention of Sara's name practically made Seth break out in hives.
Well, one day Sara decided to go to Glamour Shots there in the mall and have a bunch of pictures taken....and she opted for the really cheesy poses where she's wearing the Madonna gloves with her hand under her chin...you know the type. Anywho, she had TONS of 2"x3" copies made of all her whorish poses, and she left them in the drawer under the cash register.
Here's where it gets bad: I stole about 5 sheets of pictures, which is roughly 30 to 40 individual pictures, and I pasted those things EVERYWHERE! Being Seth's roommate, it was remarkably easy to do....he'd lift the toilet lid, there she was. He'd pull the milk out of the fridge, there she was. I even taped one to his Jeff Stryker dildo...lol. I just hope he saw it before he used it.
Ok...I thought it was funny. Screw you!
Ok...I'll tell you even more. You'll find this story funny for sure.
Remember the aforementioned dildo? Well, Seth's mom was coming to stay with us for like a week while he was having his wisdom teeth taken out, and he was terrified that she would find his "unmentionables" so we went on porn patrol, throwing away everything that she might stumble across (plus she was well-known for snooping). So, when we got to the dildo, we didn't know what the hell to do with it. If we put it in the garbage, what if the bag broke and it fell out on the garbage man's shoe? Finally we had a brilliant idea...we took the electric carving knife and cut in it pieces.
Well....flash to garbage day which was three days later. His mom comes in and wakes me up and tells me that dogs have gotten into the garbage and that we needed to go get all the crap off the front lawn. I go out there, and lo and behold, there are little pieces of dildo all over the yard. I wish I had a picture of his mom bent over in her housecoat picking up little pieces of dildo strewn across the yard.
Priceless....
12:46 p.m. - 2002-03-12
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