Welcome to my happily ever after...
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the time is now
I had a lot of fun last night. Seth, his boyfriend, a couple of friends of theirs, and I went out to Meteor and South Beach. I really enjoyed the Meteor part...South Beach isn�t really my cup of tea though. It reminded me of Babylon, the club that they go to in Queer As Folk. Watching men dance with their shirts off and wearing feather boas and pink cowboy hats isn�t really my idea of fun, but it was an interesting change of pace for one night. Somewhere along the road, I got old. It kinda snuck up on me.
I saw my ex-boyfriend Carlos last night at Meteor. I so hoped that we could be friends, and seeing as how we broke up six months ago, I figured it would be enough time for him to get over it. It�s not. He was really rude to Seth and didn�t even acknowledge I was there. He put on a �look what a good time I�ve having� show for my benefit, and it made me sad for him. Sad that he feels like he needs to do that, and sad that we dated for two years and spent so much time getting to know each other and don�t even really speak now. All the time something funny happens and the first thing I think is �I need to tell Carlos this� only to remember that he is not part of my anymore. It hurts sometimes.
One more note about Carlos...he must have really turned up the workout routine because he was HUGE! His arms looked as big around as my legs. I am hoping that his new muscles will boost his self-esteem.
It was so good to see Seth and laugh and have fun. I haven�t done that in so long. Honestly, before yesterday, I cannot remember the last time I laughed. I�ve been such a Grouchy Gus, and I need to get over that.
To dive into a different topic, I lay in bed this morning thinking about that I am 30 years old and my life is rushing by me. I read a quote in a book that said �If not now, then when?� That really spoke to me...it made me ponder all the things that I keep putting off saying I will do it later. Well, later is here now, and I need to seize the moment.
There are so many things I want to do....explore religion, learn yoga, do volunteer work, develop a better workout routine. I can�t put these things off any longer. The time is NOW.
12:25 p.m. - 2002-02-10
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