Welcome to my happily ever after...
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life is good
Ok, so you guys all remember that lame Gloria Estefan song called Coming Out of the Dark? I have been humming that song now for 2 days because that's how I feel. It's as if I'm finally pulling my head out of my ass.
Last night I finally started the process of arranging my apartment and making things "nice" since the BF left. Everything was exactly the way it was when he lived there...the thought of moving stuff around was just exhausting. Well, and I also was in a drug induced haze so much of that time, so that explains things as well.
So anywho, I was overwhelmed by all the stuff that he left behind, and being surrounded by it was overwhelming at times. Plates, forks, kitchen appliances, pictures hanging on the wall, linens...you name it and it's sitting around practically watching me as I try to get on with my life.
For a while I felt as if I needed to try to get rid of all that stuff, however I am starting to look at things a little differently. Now I am beginning to feel like perhaps I earned it. I had such feelings of guilt at first, however the more I learn about the ex's covert activities, I realize that the guilt should be distributed 50/50. To tell the truth though, to quote my ex, guilt is a wasted emotion anyway.
So I am now at Starbucks at 8 AM with my little Paco the Love Taco sitting at my feet. I have a hot cup of coffee within reach, and the air is crisp and autumn-esque. (I love making up words).
Life is good.
10:51 a.m. - 2008-11-01
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