Welcome to my happily ever after...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
03-20-08
I was feeling sorry for myself last night when I wrote that last entry. I'm allowing myself a few mini-pity parties, but I'm making sure to catch myself before I act on them. I think it's important that I learn to feel the loneliness because I've essentially had someone around me constantly since October when I started using again. Even after my sobriety date of Feb 6th, I still kept someone around, perhaps just to have someone to be accountable to. So now I've cut all ties and learning what it feel like to be alone. It's mildly uncomfortable, but it's nothing I can't handle.
I will say something that I don't know if I've ever written here. I took a self-imposed one year dating hiatus from May 2006 to May 2007, and it was the best thing I could have ever done. When I met CP last May, I was in a great place, and it's a shame things didn't work out. I've been thinking I should try another hiatus again. Like it said in Eat Pray Love, it's like a person that keeps getting in car wrecks. Eventually, they should finally suspend your license out of fear of hurting unsuspecting victims out there. Perhaps it's time I take the fucking bus instead, no?
I must say that I've been somewhat disappointed in some of my friends. Carlos says hello from time to time, however I haven't seen him in person since sometime last summer. I have another sober friend that I talked to a few times in the past couple of months, however I got tired of emailing him and not receiving a response back. I stopped emailing about a month ago, and I haven't heard a word since. People are so weird.
Moving right along, I did something last night that I'm proud of myself for doing: I took a yoga class. It was HARD. I met some nice people, and it was nice to be around people that don't know anything about me and to laugh at how many times we all fell down.
I must say that yoga classes are not cheap. It's not like going to the gym where you pay a flat fee and you can go as many times as you like. I'm not letting the cost affect me however, and I plan to go back again tonight because I can't explain the feeling of euphoria I felt driving home last night.
One funny things did happen: at one point, we were doing down dog, and she walked over and told me that I needed to push my heels into the earth or something like that, and without thinking I said "but my heels just automatically go up in the air". Everyone started laughing and we had to stop a moment. Yeah, I'm cool like dat. What up.Ok, I better get ready for work. Since I'm off work tomorrow, today is essentially my Friday! yea!
5:40 a.m. - 2008-03-20
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------