Welcome to my happily ever after...
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Eat Pray Love
I am in a much better mood this morning. Amazing what some M&Ms and a good night's sleep can fix.
I'm continuing to be blown away by Eat Pray Love. It's been a long, long, looong time since I've read something and I had to put down the book and say "fuuuuuuucccckkkk", which is exactly what I did. About 5 times. Then I went back and reread that passage again. Page 65 is a godsend. Here's a snippet from the book:
I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You have have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time - everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts, I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself...I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.
Dear God, I could use a little break from this cycle, to give myself some space to discover what I look like and talk like when I'm not trying to merge with someone. Also, let's be honest - it might be a generous public service for me to leave intimacy alone for a while...How many more different types of men can I keep trying to love and continue to fail? Think of it this way - if you'd had ten serious traffic accidents in a row, wouldn't they eventually take away your driver's license? Wouldn't you kind of want them to?
Just transcribing that here in my blog, my brain is saying "fuuuccckkkk" because that is oh so me. My favorite line is when she says "I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself".
Genius. And exactly what I needed to read to start out my day. I love this book.
Now I better get in the shower and get ready for work.
Today is my opportunity to do things better than yesterday.
5:18 a.m. - 2008-02-19
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