Welcome to my happily ever after...
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04-30-07
I have tried to make my life in sobriety about doing what I am supposed to do, with little fanfare from others or myself. I know I've written this 100 times here before, but I love the quote by Chris Rock where he says that "people expect to be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to do". So, so true.
It had been a while since I'd gone to a meeting, and after going to one on Saturday night, it left me confused about how they make me feel. I must admit that my sole purpose of the meetings in 2007 has been primarily for social reasons, but even that has been waning as of late. I find that the eagerness in those around me mildly irritating, and this is my problem....not theirs.
Perhaps AA serves many purposes for people, and I think that some use AA as a vehicle to get the attention they have been so desperately searching for in life. Saturday was birthday night at the center where people who hit another year of sobriety in that month receive a chip. I find it interesting that the ones with early sobriety tend to do it quietly with little fanfare, yet people with long-term sobriety make a big technicolor spectacle out of things. One guy I know devotes a whole month to celebrating his sobriety, and this is someone that isn't newly sober. Again, expecting to be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to do.
Don't get me wrong: my sobriety is the pride and joy of my life. However for me, inviting (or expecting) others to celebrate milestones in MY sobriety cheapens it somehow. I think I can best honor my commitment to sobriety with quiet reflection and appreciation. Not by devoting a whole month to celebrating it, having sit down dinners with 30 people, or thanking everyone including the cat when I receive my chip.
Furthermore, I think that in the beginning in the early stages of sobriety a structured program such as AA can be very positive and produce great results in many different types of people. However, I feel that at some point once establishing a solid foundation of sobriety, we must learn to create our own foundation based on what we have learned, partly from AA, but also just as important, what we have learned in life, and the new and positive experiences we have had while living life sober.
I guess my point is that I think at some point AA can take on the identity of another addiction. I see it in people around me when I go to meetings, and I find it disconcerting.
Don't mind me. I'm just thinking about loud today.
7:56 a.m. - 2007-04-30
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