Welcome to my happily ever after...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
he's alive!
I had to lock my diary. Well, I didn't HAVE to, but I felt like it was something that I should just do. After having a diary at diaryland going on 4 years, I'm way past the point of looking at my stats and seeing how many people have put me on their buddy list. I guess that I'm just tired of being out there for public consumption. I think I will keep it locked going forward, even after I feel better about the current situation.
I've gotten into something that I know I should not : drugs. I have never been a drug person at all. I mean, I experimented a bit in college, but no biggie. Well, I met some new friends that do crystal meth, and when I've been hanging out with them I have been partaking as well. I say that....I used to only partake with them. One of them bought me a pipe so I could smoke it myself, so since then I bought my own shit and did it on my own. Not good. This weekend wasn't as bad as the one before, however I admit I did it off and on the whole weekend. In fact, Friday night a bunch of friends came over and we stayed up all night long doing it/having sex/watching porn. It was fun, but fuck! I need to slow my roll man before I am completely out of control.
The final reason I ended up locking my diary is because a "friend" of mine that I met from my diary read me up and down about my behavior lately. Now, a swift kick in the ass is ok now and then, but the way this guy went about it bordered on just plain mean by calling me a crackhead and saying shit like "You hate me now? Well good!". I finally told him to fuck off and blocked his emails. Motherfuck. It's sad that I will never ever write to him ever again because he was kinda fun for a while to banter back and forth with, however considering he is someone that lives 2000 miles away and I will never ever meet in person, I can't help but think he is disposable. So that's what I did.
I have someone moving in with me sometime this week. I have an acquaintence that was recently kicked out by his roommate and didn't have a place to stay. I have that extra bedroom now that Carlos moved out, and although I like having my computer in there, it would be nice to have someone around the house. Someone to "hold my string" to keep my from blowing away as I've mentioned before. So I told him he could stay with me for a while. It's either going to go really really good or really really bad. I'm hoping for the former. I guess the good news is that he's a dancer at South Beach, one of the gay dance clubs here. I'll at least have some eye candy around the house.
I'm going home tonight and cleaning out that room so he can move his stuff in. Am I nuts? Perhaps. But at least it will keep me from sitting there on the computer night after night with my dick in my hand. At least I think it will.
10:57 a.m. - 2004-12-13
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------