Welcome to my happily ever after...
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the single life
I give a heartfelt thank you to everyone out there that either left me a note or sent me an email. I really do appreciate it.
I am okay. Really I am. For a while I sat around with a feeling in my stomach I can only describe as having my insides hollowed out by an ice cream scoop. After Carlos left the house, I began the arduous process of separating our stuff. I made little piles in the living room of his DVDs, his CDs, his books. I then made a bed for him on the couch because we'd decided earlier that it was the best place for him to sleep. Sleeping in the same bed still would be way too weird. I tried that once with a boyfriend I had at A&M after we broke up, and it led to all kinds of drama.
I've managed to just about completely avoid him for the most part. I got up early yesterday morning and went straight to the gym. After working out for a couple of hours, I went straight to visit the folks. My mommy cooked lunch for me, and then we went out to run some errands. Around 6:30 I went to Jane's house because she cooked us dinner, so we ate a homemade pizza and then watched TV for about an hour. I got back home around 8 PM, so I took a shower and got in bed to read. I turned the light off around 9 and was asleep before Carlos even got home.
This morning when we were getting ready for work, you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. I am determined not to bitter about this, and I tried to be as pleasant as possible, but I mean, how pleasant can I be when he had just told me he loved me that morning and then he comes home 8 hours later and says he isn't attracted to me anymore and that I've gained weight? I mean, I could stand to lose maybe 5 lbs, but I don't have udders or anything. Ugh.
Driving home yesterday, I started compiling a list of advantages of being single. Here are a few I've come up with so far:
1) I don't have to cook dinnner anymore if I don't feel like it.
2) Grocery shopping for one is a heck of a lot cheaper.
3) I know only have to clean up MY mess.
4) I can sleep in the middle of the bed spread eagle if I want to.
5) Or I can let the cat sleep with me.
6) I can cook with as many fucking bell peppers as I want to.
7) I can cook seafood for dinner.
8) No more Cartoon Network on constantly.
9) I now have a spare bedroom for my computer and for guests to sleep.
10) Extra closet space.
You know, I figured that Carlos would come to me and tell me that he regretted breaking up with me. It hasn't happened.
9:34 a.m. - 2004-09-13
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