Welcome to my happily ever after...
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I am OK
Despite my Oscar worthy performance in my last entry, I am ok. After I wrote that entry, I took a hot bath, ate some dinner, put on my PJs, and crawled into bed with the cat and the remote control. I watched TV until around 10 PM, turned out the light, and then lay there for hours waiting for Carlos to come home from the bars. He finally got home at 2:30 AM, and I just pretended to be asleep. I sometimes wonder if I resent the fact that he can socially drink and I can't. It's not his fault. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I don't know if it is even something that can be passed from generation to generation, but my Irish background might be coming back to haunt me.
I'm back at work today, and after being gone for 4 days, I must admit it's hard to get back in the groove of things. I really did manage to get a lot done around the house on my days off despite that I was horribly hung over every day but Monday. I moved all the furniture and vacuumed under everything, mopped all the floors, cleaned the kitchen. It really needed to be done.
I have decided that I am going to try out AA again. I wasn't a fan the first time around, however maybe it was just the group that I went to. Maybe I shouldn't go to a gay AA group because last time I felt like I was at the gay bar. There's a church not far from me that they have meetings most nights. I am not jazzed about telling Carlos that's where I will be going, but he knows what is going on anyways. In fact he came to me Monday morning and asked me if there was anything I wanted to talk to him about. I told him no. I just couldn't get into it right then and there for some reason. I don't think I'm ready yet.
I'm excited about watching the new season of the Real World that starts tonight. The latino gay guy Willie looks good enough to eat. I love me a cute latin boy. I hope that unlike all the other gay guys that were on the Real World, he actually gets some action while he's there.
The other show that I like right now is The Surreal Life on VH1, and for one reason only : Charo. Charo is off the heezy! I have loved Charo ever since the old days when she did all those episodes of The Love Boat. Anyone who dances around while saying "Coochi Coochi" is definitely OK in my book.
I think I'm going to work out tonight after work. I worked out both Sunday and Monday, and I really do think that it makes me feel better.
3:01 p.m. - 2004-09-07
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