Welcome to my happily ever after...
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taking a leak
One advantage to having Monday off is the resulting 4 day work week. I keep having to remind myself that today is Tuesday. I love me some Tuesdays, although now that I think The Amazing Race is on at the same time as Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, I'm not sure which will win out. This is what VCRs were invented for. Big Brother also starts tonight, but I lost my love for that show many moons ago. Now if they were naked the whole time, I might watch, but until then, no bones.
The summer TV season is getting in full swing, and I'm a swinger.
Today has been really quiet work wise. By writing this, I expect the floodgates to open any minute now. Only 2 hours and 15 minutes to go!
So what to write about? Let's talk about Carlos. I can tell that he's a bit apprehensive about how I will act around his family, and I don't see them very often. I think the last time I was around them was when a couple of his sisters came to his birthday party last August. Well, and then of course his niece comes over and hangs out with us (including last night). But I've only been around his mother a couple of times, and the last time was back in 2001 when I went with him to a funeral. His mom speaks no English at all other than the "be careful" and "I love you" usuals. I'd love to have a conversation with her. When we left her house to drive back to Houston on Sunday, she told me in Spanish to take care of her baby. That really touched me for some reason.
Anywho, I laughed and had a good time. So much in the past when I'm around people that I don't know well, I just tend to just sit there and listen and not really contribute to the conversation. However this past weekend I was different, and I could tell that Carlos could tell a difference as well. I guess it's from the Zoloft. In fact, at one point one of his sisters was driving into town to pick up one of the kids, and when she was leaving she asked if I wanted to tag along, and I actually went without Carlos. That's something that I never would have done for fear that we wouldn't have anything to talk about. I just sat there and followed her lead and didn't freak out about it. Carlos was absolutely shocked and has commented two or three times about how happy he was at how things went on Sunday. Yea for me!
I'm sure I've written here about my intense fear of social situations. It's only gotten worse in recent years. One of least favorite things to have to do is make idle conversation at the urinal while taking a piss. Please do not talk to me while I am taking a leak. When I am given the choice of a stall or a urinal when I enter the bathroom, over time I have come to prefer the stall for the simple reason that I can keep from having to talk to anyone. My friend Bill will ONLY pee in a stall, and this can be quite annoying for example at a club when the line is out the door and around the corner and we have to wait for a stall to open up. In a gay bar, that can take freaking forever because of all the queens in the stalls having sex and doing drugs. Carlos says that Bill won't use a urinal because his dick is the smallest he's ever seen, and that Bill is very self-conscious about it (Carlos and Bill had sex years ago before we dated).
People seeing my dick is not a problem...that is not why I hate the urinal. In fact, there's a bar here in Houston that has a mirror over the big trough urinal thingie, and while you piss, you can just look in the mirror and look at everyone's dick. I have no problem with that...I've never been shy about my dick. If someone wants to lean over and look at my rod, more power to them. Hell, I'd hang lights on it if I could figure out how.
Just please do me a favor....don't fucking talk to me while I'm taking leak.
2:41 p.m. - 2004-07-06
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