Welcome to my happily ever after...
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om nama shivaya
Man oh man, I feel like crap today. I can't quite say that I know what "ass" feels like, however I can say today I have a pretty good idea. I think I might have a sinus infection. I mean seriously...how can one person manufacture so much snot?
I had such a bad day yesterday. I know that one of life's biggest skills is just thinking of bad things that happen throughout my day as a speed bump, therefore just slowing down long enough to drive over it, and then getting back up to full speed like before. Yesterday however, I hit those speed bumps going full force forward (alliteration rocks!), and then crashing and burning. I went to lunch yesterday and sat outside feeding the ducks at the pond in an attempt at some sort of transcendental therapy. I kept saying my mantra, om nama shivaya, over and over again in my head in an attempt to clear my mind before coming back to work. I then came back inside, sat down, and went on the warpath telling anyone and everyone how much I hate it here. Yes, I do hate every waking moment here, however it is not my place whatsoever to tell anyone that other than maybe Carlos or my folks. At one point, I refused to do something, which I know is not typically something that one is supposed to do at work, but that's what I did and there's nothing I can about it now. I have just been pushed to my breaking point though.
Around 12:30 AM last night I couldn't sleep so I got online and started looking around for various jobs here in Houston. There isn't much available right now. Looking like I'll be driving to the Woodlands every day. Did I mention that I opted not to do the van pool? Instead I will be carpooling with a couple of girls that work in my department. When I went to our van pool meeting, no one would volunteer to drive the stupid van, so somehow I was volunteered to drive it one week a month. Now I'll be driving every third week, but at least I'll be driving my own car. I don't have a problem with that at all other than the miles I'll be putting on my car, but c'est la vie. I've gotten somewhat spoiled as my drive now is 3 minutes. I read diaries of people like Eric P. who commutes like 405948 miles a day, and I guess I shouldn't really complain.
Carlos has been so nice to me lately! I think that it may have something to do with his Lenore the Whore imitation at JRs the other night. If that had been me, I'd be in so much trouble. Sometimes I think, or rather I know, that he gets mad that I don't get jealous when does stuff like that. I have exorcised that jealousy gene out of my system years ago. I think back to when I dated Seth and we were living together, he'd go out for the night and I'd be so jealous I couldn't see straight. I literally would sit in the front window and watch to see when he got home, seething even more with every minute that went by. I am not sure what changed for me, or rather how I changed myself. I mean, some degree of jealosy I think is ok, even flattering, but I was crazy jealous once. Now I'm the complete opposite.
I crashed my computer yesterday and lost all my pictures and my music. I'd spent hours and hours downloading all my tunes that I like to listen to when I work out, and I was not amused. For some reason, Limewire and particularly Kazaa crash my computer like a sonofabitch. I mean, lock up city. I had to completely remove Windows and reinstall it, and now I have the fun task of installing all the various things back such as my DSL. I would go home and do that tonight, however I have learned not to mess with my computer when Carlos is home. He gets really jealous saying I like my computer more than I do him. Hmm. That is so not true. At least not all the time!
I really would like to go work out after work today, however I don't think that working out sick is a good idea. Isn't it true that you're not supposed to work out sick? Anyone know? Or maybe sweating a bit might do me some good.
Did anyone else watch that new show "Summerland" or whatever the heck it's called on the WB? It was like freaking gay porn I tell you! I don't even have any idea what the show was about....when I was working on my computer I had it on with the sound turned off. Major eye candy on that show. They're showing it again on Sunday night if you missed it.
10:16 a.m. - 2004-06-02
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