Welcome to my happily ever after...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
is your hole round?
Is it Monday already? Goodness, that 2 days sure went quickly. I had a very alcoholic weekend indeed. Here's the scoop:
Friday afternoon, I had the house to myself! Carlos worked until about 9 that night, so I worked out after work and then went home and chilled out. Around 8 I decided to download some new workout music for my mp3 player. So to keep myself company, I opened a big bottle of merlot that's been sitting on the kitchen counter for a few weeks. By the time Carlos got home, I'd had 3 glasses and was feeling no pain. In fact, when he took his shower I decided to slip in the shower to surprise him. He was surprised, and we ended up messing around for a while. LOL, I won't be surprised if he ends up bringing home big bottles of merlot going forward.
Saturday I woke up not feeling too terribly cute, so I stayed home and cleaned house some. Around 12 I went to work out, and then stopped by the grocery store on the way home. Carlos got home from work at 5, and I cooked dinner and we waited for Greg to call us so we could discuss going out that night.
We ended up going first to Inergy, which is that latin gay bar I've written about before. I was the only marshmallow in that joint. Quite frankly, I didn't even think about it until our friend BJ, who works there as a bartender, said "You're going to be the only white boy in here." That's when it dawned on me...I forget that I'm white! I hang around Carlos and his hispanic friends so much that I feel like an honorary Mexican.
Anywho, we left there around 11:30 to go to Meteor. There were so many guys there that I went to college with! I felt like I was at a freaking A&M reunion or something. I also ran into someone that was once considered a friend, however after his behavior Saturday night, I have reconsidered.
Remember my lawyer friends I ran around with when I first moved to Houston? I knew one lawyer, Phil, in particular because he was dating my friend Jason from college, and after they broke up and Jason moved to Colorado, I still hung out with Phil. Now Phil is somewhat like a booleg B-list celeb here in town because he advertises with his picture in every magazine and on the back of every phone book. He also has these really cheesy informericals that show on late night TV. As a result, Phil makes a ton of money. I mean a bunch. Back in 1999, Phil offered to buy me a car if I'd date him, but seeing as how I'm not a prostitute, I declined. We were still friendly though.
The last time I ran into Phil was back in 2001, I called him up and asked him to meet me at Meteor. Although Phil is 50 years old, his main concern in life is trying to look and act younger. He wears trendy clothes and still likes to hang out at dance clubs. In fact, that night we met out, I went to the bathroom and when I came back he'd left to go to Rich's without even telling me that he was leaving. That's because a boy 30 years yohe'd been chasing had called him and told him he was at Rich's. You get it.
Back to my story. So we're standing there shooting the shit, and Carlos says "Isn't that your friend Phil over there?". It was Phil, so later when he walked by me, I grab his arm and say "What's going on stud?". He acted like I was bothering him, and I could tell that he was wanting to get away from me. So I said "I don't want to keep you...." and he said "OK", hugged me, and off he went. Perhaps he was running late for a rendezvous with some 20 year old. Fuckhead.
I then ran into my friend Jay that I was rather good friends with at A&M. He's a coach at the same high school that Carlos graduated from, so they had that in common and chatted about that. Jay and I had a lot of fun on one particular trip to New Orleans, and I will never forget when Jay, our friend Susie, and I were taking turns throwing up in the courtyard of our apartment (from drinking too many Hurricanes). Jay's boyfriend at the time was into bodybuilding and healthy stuff, and he came out there, looked at us with disdain, and said "I can't believe you do that to your bodies...."
Susie shot back with "I can't believe you do that to your asshole!".
That was one of the best comebacks I've heard....probably ever.
Is it a sign that your boyfriend might be putting on a little too much weight if the toilet seat breaks in two while he is sitting on it? Saturday, he came in the living room and said "you're going to be mad....". A million things went through my head. When he takes me in the bathroom and shows me the broken toilet seat, I almost busted a gut. So yesterday, Carlos and I head out to Home Depot to get a new one. Did you know that they come in two sizes? Round or elongated. Who knew? So we're standing there looked at them and a woman behind me says "Did you know they come in two sizes? Is your hole round or elongated?" I wanted to tell her that my hole was none of her damn business, but I knew she was just trying to help. Carlos got such a kick out of it that he literally had to go away to keep from laughing in her face.
Between that and the sales guy at Walgreens that was named Dong, it was a rather juvenile day humor-wise. I haven't laughed like that in ages.
8:12 a.m. - 2004-05-10
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------