Welcome to my happily ever after...
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up in herre
If my boyfriend doesn't start being nice to me soon, I don't think that we will be together too much longer. When he comes home at night from work, I understand that he is tired. However he walks in, eats his dinner without saying a word to me, and takes his shower. Then by that point, I'm ready to go to bed. I mean, I have to be in bed by at least 10 or I'm a mess the next day, and I can't help it that he doesn't get home until 9 PM most nights. So he's mad at me now saying I never want to have sex, however by the time he gets home from work, I'm wearing flannel PJs and am half asleep. I don't know what to do. Our schedules are just so darn different.
I did get an email from him a minute ago saying he was sorry he's been so grouchy lately. I have such a hard time in my little pea brain realizing that not everything has to do with me, and when he acts like that, 99% of the time I can assume it's not my fault. I just have had a hard time throughout the years learning that the way people treat me has little to do with the way that I treat them.
I've also had a hard time in life dealing with when people just flat out do not like me for no good reason. Despite the complete bitch I come across as in my diary, I really do try to treat people the way that they like to be treated. I know full-well that when someone is rude or mean to me, there is very little chance that it was a reaction to something that I did. Not everyone is going to like me, no matter how nice I am to them. But letting things just roll off my back is easier said than done. I get my feelings hurt rather easily.
I got an email from Maddey telling me that she broke up with her girlfriend this weekend. She also said that she's going to start dating guys again because she's sick of being a lez. Now I've been friends with Maddey for close to 10 years now, and a few years ago when she declared herself as gay, it was a shock even to me. (I definitely won the toaster on that one). She asked if I'd be mad if she started dating guys, so I wrote her back and told her she could date guys, aliens, drag queens, I don't care....we'll always be friends. Maddey has such a fear of commitment, and I'm afraid that it's isn't the gender of her mates that is the problem...it's that when things start to get serious, she freaks out and ends things. That sounds like a straight guy.
Queer Eye starts again tonight. Oh yes, and tonight is Top Model. OMG....it's gonna be so gay up in herre tonight.
3:03 p.m. - 2004-02-17
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