Welcome to my happily ever after...
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chronic masturbation, A-gays, and rim jobs...oh my!
I'm having another one of those days where people just won't get out of my way! I went to the gym, and I guess being there in the Village, it takes 15 mins to get back about 3 miles. Granted, there is a lot of road construction going on between here and there, however 99% of the problem consists on minivan-moms in their Suburbans that won't get off their damn cell phone! ARRRRAGH! I seriously think I need to be put on some sort of mild sedative, because when I get on the road and things are like that, I end up a nervous wreck by the time I get there. To me though it just seems so darn simple....JUST GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!
Oh dear. I'm getting all ferklempt....talk amongst yourselves. I'll give a topic....chronic masturbation.
Ok, you done? Now it's my turn. I went home and masturbated furiously last night. Twice before Carlos got home, and then once more in bed before Carlos was done studying and came to bed. I mean what is up with that? I'm almost 32 years old...I'm much too old to be doing this. I wasn't even like this when I was 18 and in my sexual prime. You know that sexual prime thing is a bunch of BS...you're only as old as you think you are.
On the way back from the gym, I grabbed this social scene rag called Papercity that out in a bin by the parking lot. There are a ton of pictures from various social parties where the creme de la creme rub elbows, and Lori, my old office partner who actually knows these people, and I used to page through them and talk about everyone. Lori sometimes actually showed up in the photos when they had big fundraisers, etc, and she always had good dish on everyone. Where she would say "Look at that tramp...I bet she'd love it if everyone knew she was sleeping with that other lady's husband...", I'd say "Check out this guy....I don't know who he thinks he's fooling there with his "wife" because I've seen him giving head in the stall at JRs". Really. I wonder if half these society women know their husbands are all queer? Perhaps the husbands are the ones with the cash, and the beards...I mean wives, are willing to overlook their dalliances in return for a comfortable lifestyle. I'm just saying...
It's also interesting how there's a gay social scene too. I've briefly touched on it twice in my life. The first time, when I went to Texas A&M and was a senior, I dated the news anchor on the local news there in College Station. Now it didn't last but like 3 or 4 months because I found him to have the personality of a doorknob, but he was always dragging me to dinner parties and fund raisers here in Houston where we'd mingle with the A-gays. I found them all to be a bunch of rich drug-addled whores.
Then after I moved to Houston, I fell in with a wealthy group of lawyers. Yawn. They were always jetting off to P-town and Rehobeth for vacation, and I couldn't afford that so I became close with one of their boyfriends who was also left behind, Thomas. I'm sure you remember me talking about him. Anywho, Thomas and I bonded out of our disdain for that whole social scene. I can think of many times where I'd be at a party that one of my friends threw and no one could find me. Turns out I'd be out smoking behind the garage with the catering guys. The hot Mexican catering guys. I was no fool!
Then I also remember a time when one of those lawyers had a party at his house, a fund-raiser for something I'm sure. He had an indoor pool, and one by one everyone ended up naked. Naked orgy in the pool! I don't know why I remember this, but there was a really hot blond bartender that worked like every one of those parties, and I always found him to be so freaking hot. Well, at this party, John, the host and owner of the house, asked me to go to his bathroom to get him something....what it was escapes me. So I bust in there and lo and behold, the aforementioned hot bartender was bent over the bathroom counter getting a rim job from Thomas's boyfriend...and had a coke spoon up his nose. It was like a scene out of Less Than Zero....only gay. I still see that bartender guy out sometimes, and I speak to him every time. I'm sure he doesn't even remember me walking in on them....getting a rim job in someone's bathroom while doing coke is probably a regular occurence.
Remember my story about the old dude that was hitting on me at JRs a few months ago? When I spurned his advances, he wanted to kick Carlos' ass. He was the one that kept saying he owns that big funeral home chain here in Houston? I know him through the A-gays. L-oser.
I'm not sure how I ended up telling all those lame stories, but that was foray into the gay social scene.
The End.
Or is it? I had to tack this on at the end. I've mentioned how classy my coworkers here at the hospital are. Well, I heard a baby from around the corner, and when I stuck my head around, a coworker said "Jonathan, come over here and meet this little man...", so I venture over there. I say "Oh my gosh! Your son is so cute! How old is he?"
"He's two...but he's not my son, he's my grandson."
Ok, this lady is 29 years old and has a grandson.
Class.
1:10 p.m. - 2003-11-20
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