Welcome to my happily ever after...
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sex and spirituality
Do you believe in God? Do you feel that religion is something beautiful and fulfilling, or do you think it was created to explain various phenomena such as life, death, creation. Do you think it came about to govern our actions both with others and ourselves?
I have quietly been asking these questions to myself for months, and somehow I always manage to push them to the back of my mind whenever they appear. For example, when I am about to do something that I know that I shouldn't do, I know better. I have that little voice in the back of my head at the time whispering "please don't...", but I don't always listen. Well, in fact I rarely listen.
Carlos's friend Javier has been asking us to go to church with him sometime. This is what I have been waiting for! Someone to hold my hand and show me the ropes.
I hope I get the guts to take him up on it.
I was brought up to basically think that anything dealing with sex was morally wrong. However, in my mind religion and sex are like siblings that fight but down deep really love each other. Although their love is never spoken of, the very fact that it is hidden shows a sign of its intensity.
The night of Rick's funeral I experienced one of the holiest moments I have ever known when pastor spoke of God picking a beautiful flower from his garden. I was overwhelmed by the imagery, the sound, the symbolism.
Later that night when Carlos and I had sex, I was insatiable. Although it was spiritual in a different way, it was spiritual nonetheless. The power was overwhelming and went way beyond anything I could control or understand.
Where do you draw the line between sex and the spiritual?
1:24 p.m. - 2002-09-10
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