Welcome to my happily ever after...
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06/11/01
Here is an entry I found from my old diary: It scares me that I could just change the date and it would still apply.
06/11/01-
My dad has lymphoma. I think I may have mentioned it in a previous entry. I have to go to the hospital tonight to hang out with him when he receives his chemotherapy treatment, and to tell the truth, I am dreading it. Let me explain:
The hospital gives me the heebie-jeebies, and the chemo ward is terribly depressing. It tears my heart out when I see mere children, no older than four or five years old, walking through the halls with their chemo bags in tow. So pale with those big eyes that sick people tend to have. I want to hug them and tell them that everything will be okay, knowing that most likely it won�t.
My dad was diagnosed in January. I don�t think it has really sunk in yet. I sometimes sit here and think �My dad has cancer.� Perhaps if I write about it here , it might be enough to jar myself into believing it.
I have got to get some sort of order back to my life. I haven�t been shaving. I haven�t been cooking my meals, instead opting for fast food. I haven�t been opening my blinds, which if you knew me is very atypical of me. I hold a certain amount of distrust for people who never open their blinds....
I spent the morning cleaning my house like a madman. Scrubbing, polishing, mopping. Hoping that maybe if I scrub down deep enough, I can find the Jonathan that I used to be....
11:37 p.m. - 2002-03-22
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