Welcome to my happily ever after...
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sunshine and shamrocks
I tossed and turned a lot last night, and I had my middle of the night feeding around 1:30 AM. I had Lorna Doone cookies in the 100 calorie pack, which amounts to like 10 itsty, bitsy little cookies. Perfect for a snack.
Anywho, I'm a bit groggy today.
Last night on the phone, my mother told me that I had turned into an optimist, or in her words, a "glass half-full type". She will freely compliment me on my clothes, my grammar, or a measurable accomplishment, however I've never heard her give praise for something along these lines. I guess this is progress on both our parts.
Moving right along, I remember the exact day I started my diary at Diaryland: it was sometime in April of 2001, and little details come back to me like whispers. I was unemployed at the time, and I had the whole day to do whatever I pleased (which usually entailed recuperating from the drink the evening before). I remember it was a beautiful Spring day, and I was reading The Farewell Symphony by Edmund White, so I hopped on my bike and took it with me to Dunlavy Park. I remember sunshine, shamrocks, and cute boys playing basketball as I lay in the grass reading. Later that day I stumbled across a diary on Diaryland by a guy named Joey (stuby13), and I was inspired to start one myself.
I remember it took months for me to finally write that I had a problem with alcohol. I knew that writing those words would only make it that much more real, however once I did, it opened the floodgates. I am mildly amused by the little things I did back then to try to keep my drinking in check: only drinking at night, only drinking one drink every 15 minutes, only drinking on weekends, etc. I was willing to try just about every option except of course quit drinking.
Anywho, not sure where this memory came from, but I figured I'd write it all down because I remember that partcular day was one of the very few glimpses I got of happiness during that era of my life. These days I am overwhelmed by such feelings of joy that it sometimes makes my heart skip a beat.
I just got a call from my mom and dad, and they are in my neck of the woods shopping and are going to take me to lunch. Yea!
10:12 a.m. - 2007-03-19
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