Welcome to my happily ever after...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1993
In 1993 I met my first boyfriend. His name was Tracy. One night I went out with my lesbian friend Becky that I went to college with. She knew a girl also named Becky that she wanted to get to know, and they were going out for drinks one night with the other Becky�s roommate Tracy. I tagged along, and we ended up going to this little hole in the wall bar called the Ptarmigan that was famous for making Flaming Dr. Peppers. After what seemed like 20 drinks, we ended up back at Becky and Tracy�s apartment. Becky was rather well known in town for being a folk singer, and I remember lots of candles, some wine, her guitar and smoky voice, and some pot if memory serves me right. Somehow or another, Tracy and I ended up kissing, and as a result, I spent the night. After that we became inseparable, and officially considered outselves �dating� after only a couple of days. In fact, Tracy actually told me that he wanted to �marry� me after a couple of days, and I was so in love with love at that point that I of course said �yes�.
So Tracy and I moved in together a couple of months later. Things went really well for a while. That is until I met Andrew. Andrew was a guy that I met about a year before that really turned my crank. He was a hot italian guy that had a hot body, hot attitude, and a hot red MG convertible. Somehow or another, one night I ended up going out with a group of people, and Andy was in the mix. I don�t remember why Tracy wasn�t there, but when the bar closed at 1 AM (all the bars in College Station closed at 1!), Andy and I still wanted to party. I ended up going back to Andy�s house because he said that he had some beer, and lo and behold, we had major sex. I fucked Andy like I had only seen in bad 80�s porn movies at that point. He was hot, mysterious, and damn, he had a red MG! That was the end of my relationship with Tracy, I hate to say.
Andy called me every night after that wanting me to go out and drink with him. I was on summer break, working waiting tables to make some money for tuition, and I had cash to burn. I told Tracy I was working late, but I was really drinking my ass off and then fucking Andy�s ass off afterwards.
After a couple of months of that, I knew that I had to break up with Tracy. One night I finally did, and he told me that he had known about me and Andy for months. College Station was too small a town for him not to know. It was not pretty. He ended up blackmailing me. He told me that if I didn�t pay for him to get a new apartment, a la deposit and first months rent, he would call and tell my parents not only that I was gay, but that I was an adulterer. I ended up giving him $500 to move out. It hurt both my heart and my wallet.
Andy and I saw each other for a while after that. He still really turned my crank, and we would still go out, I would go back to his house, and I would fuck him bareback until the cows came home.
After about three months of that, I began to have feelings for him. How could I not? We were a couple of sorts. But little did I know that he had a boyfriend that lived out of town that never came to visit much.
He finally told me about his boyfriend. Only because he was coming to town to visit one weekend, and I knew that I had to get a look at him. I dragged my friends out that night to the gay bar to see what Andy�s boyfriend looked like, and lo and behold, I met Seth that night. (See my old entries about Seth.)
I knew that things were over with Andy. They deserved to be! He didn�t tell me that he had a boyfriend! So I pursued things with Seth.
Three months later I got really sick. So sick I ended up in the hospital, and I found out that I had hepatitis. Seth got tested, and he was negative. I called Tracy and told him. He turned out negative. So it had to have been Andy, and when I called him and told him, he told me that his BF had given it to him years before. He just chose not to tell me before he slept with me. Bareback. He also told me that in the months since we hadn�t talked , he had tested HIV positive. I thought my world was over. I was convinced I was going to die.
more later
12:31 a.m. - 2003-03-09
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------