Welcome to my happily ever after...
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halfway house
I once read a quote by Madonna in a magazine where she said that power is being told you are not loved and not being destroyed by it. I really dig that.
Last night really wasn't that bad. When I got home, Carlos was already home, and I just went to the bedroom and napped until around 6:30. When I woke up to cook dinner, I decided that the skulking around the house is for the birds. So I told him that I'm not mad at him but that it would take me some time to get myself together. So I made dinner for the two of us and we sat watching TV for a while until he went in the other room to watch cartoons and do his lesson plan for the next day. We just did our own thing until time to go to bed, at which point he made his little spot on the couch and I retreated to the boudoir.
He says he moving in with Mario. Mario bought a house a few months ago, and he has a couple of extra bedrooms. Apparently, one of their other friends also broke up with his boyfriend and didn't have anywhere to stay, so he moved in with Mario too. Sounds like Mario is starting some sort of fucked up halfway house for men who dump their sugar daddies.
I was going to give in and go to a Kabbalah meeting last night, however once I got home and got comfy, I just didn't feel like leaving the house. In fact, after June dropped me off, I was going to go work out, however I think the trick might be to not even go inside to change. I should just take my bag with me and just get straight in the car. Once I walk in the front door, it's over. I am however going to work out tonight. I have no choice. Then I'm going to come home and watch Big Brother and The Amazing Race.
Isn't it funny how dynamics can change with a person so quickly? I have suddenly become very demure around the house, showering with the door shut, getting dressed to even go in the kitchen to get a drink of water. I'd never have done that before. I guess that being told I'm a big fat pig might have something to do with it.
Speaking of being a fat pig, I talked June into going to Panera Bread for lunch today. Anyone else ever eat there? It's heaven.
11:06 a.m. - 2004-09-14
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